Having kids doesn’t necessarily means you’re a parent, and I know that very well. Being a real parent will surely change your life forever: filling it with unconditional, life lasting love, care and warm feelings. You’ll live in love. And learn.
Being a parent is not a chore, it’s a gift. A very precious one. Being too wrapped up in our daily survival fight we often forget how generous life was when it made us responsible for other lives.
It’s an incredible present to observe life unfolding behind us each year, month by month, day by day. It’s not about living another life but witnessing and preserving this eternal wonder.
Nurturing our own flesh and blood through the lives of our children is a spark of divinity.
The Ups And Downs Of Choosing To Be A Parent
I’m not a role model in this area (as in many others as well). I had many failings and I could’ve done way better when it comes to my kids. I just consider myself very fortunate to be in touch with them and care for them, how I can, and for as long as I can.
Now, to be a parent is not always a walk in the park. As with every other thing in our lives there may be ups and downs. But one thing is sure: once you have kids, you’re life will never be the same.
You’re gonna sleep less. Or, for so many nights, you’ll gonna skip sleep entirely. Because, you know, there are things to do. It may be that your kid has a fever. And, no matter how tired or beaten you are, you will simply not be able to fall asleep. Not until the fever is gone.
Or it may be that you said you’re gonna finish that project for her or for him and you didn’t find time during the day. So, you’ll stay up late, or until morning.
You’re going out way less than you used to. Less socializing with friends over a beer (or five, like you used to). And they will call you for a while, teasing and giving you the “well, just because you have a kid, it doesn’t mean your life is over now, mate” sentence on a variety of tones. And you’ll gonna give them the same answer: “Sorry, folks, not tonight”. So, less clubbing. But more happiness. More smiling. More laughter.
You’re gonna develop that sixth (or it is seventh or eight already?) sense that will tell you when your kid needs you, in some way or another. Sometimes you will feel a gentle tingling in the back of your head, like you just forgot something very important and you’re gonna check out his or her room one more time before falling asleep, only to find out that yes, she or he was having a nightmare at that exact moment. And other times you will just know that all they need is you, near them. Nothing more than that, no expensive presents, just you and your kid, watching a movie or telling a story or drawing the same drawing for a thousand times.
Yes, it’s hard at times.
But no matter how hard it is, no matter how difficult your life gets, no matter even if you, in time, grow apart from your kids, you will never, ever, go over that unexplainable miracle that made a human being appear out of your love for another person, and nothing will ever vanish that deep sense of luck that you’re in charge of that being, for as long as you’ll live.
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.