And stick with them. Go for what works for you, not the others. Go for what you want, not the others. Including me. Make your own system and be proud of it. You may upset some people in the process, but hey, that’s life – you gotta learn from somebody, wouldn’t you? Who knows, you may also make some other people happier, richer or more relaxed with your system.
Living your life by your own rules is an art. Because your own rules have to be authentic enough to represent you fully, but permissive enough not to hurt other people. Keeping this balance is the key.
This is why many people are giving up and just stick with something in the middle. A compromise. Which will not benefit any of the parts. The process of building your own rules is a long journey. You have to live and learn.
But it’s not impossible. At some point, you’re going to realize that everything you do is totally representing you and everybody around agrees with that. Don’t give up this process. Never.
When You Make Your Own Rules You Win Your Own Game
Making your own rules is not about showing off, it’s not about getting ahead of others in some way, it’s not about proving them wrong and proving you right. It’s a simple process of individuation that is as necessary as your own name. You need a name to be recognized by, you need a primary form of identification.
Making your own rules is a way to express and assert your own point of views.
It’s what makes you, you. It’s your way to contribute, to give back to this world. It’s your unique opportunity to bring something new and amazing to life.
That’s why you should make your own rules.
Now, what happens when your rules collide with other people rules? This is a very important question. And, sadly, most of the time, people make their own rules specifically to collide with other people, as a fight back mechanism. This is not how you should do this.
If you find your game at odds with other people’s games, assess. Evaluate. See if this collision creates a problem in the first place. Collision doesn’t always means accident. It doesn’t necessarily have to hurt someone. More often than not, collision of rules is just a sign of diversity. It’s a celebration of the fact that we’re all unique. It’s a good thing. It makes you learn new things, it exposes you to the incredibly richness of life.
But if collision means you’re going to hurt the other person, something must be changed. If your rules are creating troubles to other people, then your game is not good. You gotta change that game. If the only way to express your unicity is to hurt other people, than, by all means, that unicity is completely useless and has no value at all. You gotta find another way to express yourself.
As a matter of fact, you can test the value of your rules by the value you get back from other people when you apply those rules. If other people enjoy your ways, then the rules are good. If other people stand back, or oppose you openly, then the rules have a serious issue. Work it out, come up with a new set of rules and restart the whole process.
But if the rules are good and if people are accepting you, and your life improves, keep building.
Keep adding to that game. Make it funnier and nicer.
That’s all there is to making your own rules. It’s not rocket science. It’s simply a matter of creating your life in such a way that you will enjoy living it and others will enjoy your company.
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.