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100 Ways To Live A Better Life – 98. Love

100 Ways To Live A Better Life – 98. Love

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Why do you want to join the challenge?

Unconditionally. Totally. Constantly. Relentlessly. Love is the only glue that keeps your life running. You were born out of love and you carry it deep down in your being.

Don’t look outside, because it’s not there. Don’t travel the world to find love, because you are its carrier. Don’t search for a person to love because you already know that person.

The moment you’ll truly and deeply understand that loving is something from within and has nothing to do with the outside world, it will start to overflow. The moment you understand that we’re all sharing the same magic of life and we’re here to enjoy it, love will manifest naturally.

Love is never about the other one, it’s always about you. 

What Is The Opposite Of Love?

Over the time I learned that people tend to understand things faster if you can give them a little bit of contrast. If you can create a little bit of discrepancy, some difference. Most of the time, people learn better if you teach them the opposite of the thing you’re trying to portray. I think that’s how our mind is constructed, or something.

Knowing that, and knowing that today I’m gonna write about love, I tried to find the opposite for love. How could I explain what love is by describing its opposite force? How do you create the contrast for love? How do you find the discrepancy for love?

I mean, for the color white, the opposite is the color black. For the sensation of warmth, it’s the sensation of cold. For high, the opposite it’s low. We know all that.

But what about love?

First, I thought it would be hate. You know, that feeling when you’re so totally against somebody that you just wish the worst for him. But it didn’t click. Both love and hate share some quality and that’s intensity. It’s a different polarity, but it’s not a complete opposition. If you take out the white, you remain with the black, but if you take out the love, you don’t remain with hate. Hate is not the opposite of love, it’s just a feeling, only in a different direction. Love is more than just a feeling.

Then, I thought it could be sadness. That subtle but powerful emotion of being down, of feeling hopeless, lost, depressed. You know it way to well, I know. But it didn’t click either. If you take out the low, you remain with the high, but if you take out sadness, you remain with joy. And love is not only joy. Sadness and joy are just emotions, and, although it encompasses emotion too, love is much more than that.

So, if love is not a feeling, and if it’s not an emotion either, what could it be? In all honesty, I confess I was a little bit confused. Didn’t expect to get stopped on the track s early. I mean, I thought I’m good at this. Creating contrasts, describing differences between things and all that. But it seems I wasn’t.

And then, when I stopped thinking at it for a while, it just came to me: the opposite of love is not hate. Or depression.

The opposite of love is death.

Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner

The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”

And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.

Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.

If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.

Running For My Life -from zero to ultramarathoner

This Post Has 4 Comments
  1. Almost at the end of the list of 100. Congratulations!

    I dig this post. I’ve always had an unclear understanding of what love is or is not. It is love that keeps us alive.

  2. it makes sense,logically. but i would like to understand more elaborately or may be i will also just stop thinking and then, i will automatically understand 🙂

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