Comments on: Are You A Valid Person?

By: John Sherry

John Sherry — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:29:43 +0000

Being a blogger I guess the whole thing is about validation. But as you ask how to want it? I think being yourself, sharing your views on life and making it simple for others to get means any response has to be accurate. If you project your true values and your true self then what comes back is true itself. It’s that information that enables you to validate yourself in ways that matter to you and don’t upset others. Thus we all get constant feedback either directly or through circumstances which show we are spot on or way off who we think we are…until we get it! We are complete. That is still work in progress for me. Very thought provoking post Dragos, well worth the read and the self analysis.

By: Katie Brandt

Katie Brandt — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:34:06 +0000

You are a great story teller! Thanks for the post. I loved your point on deciding WHO can validate you. I have been going through a situation at work that has left me feeling low, but after reading this I realized that I am the one who is allowing other people to make me feel this way. A great realization for this time and place and in my life. Thank you!

By: Clearly Composed

Clearly Composed — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:13:50 +0000

I enjoyed this very much especially the fact that you touched on how supportive and wonderful it can be to have a relationship where validating one another is a mutual and supportive component.

By: Eric | Eden Journal

Eric | Eden Journal — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 20:59:08 +0000

I like the back story that led to the lesson about validation. It made the concept much easier to understand. One thing I think would make the world a little better is if we would all be more willing to offer validation to others. Too often we criticize or downplay the accomplishments of others. Sharing a little validation is easy and rewarding for all involved.

By: Abubakar Jamil

Abubakar Jamil — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:04:00 +0000

Dragos,

You really touched on a very important topic.

I do believe we all have a system of internal validation and we do come to know when we have done something worthwhile and that is what we should focus on, instead of finding external validation.

By: Billy

Billy — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:43:04 +0000

Really interesting and grasping post. I can see exactly what you mean in the changes you saw in yoru colleagues. I have had similar circumstances. Suddenly things start working your way because the power is in your corner. It works! Thanks for sharing

By: Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot

Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 04:03:59 +0000

Lol, this is such a long post and the problem with that is that long comments are needed to properly reply to all the points. Not sure about the hand in fire example. We do learn by experience but the powerful learning tool there would be if the child had got burnt. As parents we do need to let our kids learn lessons the hard way as long as it’s not life threatening. There’s too much molly coddling of kids going on right now.

The best validation also comes from ourselves. I try to encourage my kids to compete against themselves by beating their own time rather than measuring how well they did compared to the other kids.

Likewise I try to be the best judge of how good my writing it. Comments and tweets are great but sometimes posts I think are great don’t get much attention – it doesn’t mean they’re not great though:)

Yes, most of all we need to validate ourselves and keep striving to do better than last time:)

By: Grace

Grace — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:52:10 +0000

I appreciate your thoughts today. Thank you.

By: Michel

Michel — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:29:53 +0000

- titre accrocheur
- introduction par un cas concret
- elargissement de la reflexion
et presentation claire et structuree du concept
- connexions a d’autres articles complementaires
- implication du lecteur
ce sont les elements interessants qu’on aime trouver dans vos articles
donc, une fois de plus, je valide (…en franÃ§ais, puisque je viens de decouvrir que c’est possible

By: rob white

rob white — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 16:10:38 +0000

Hi Dragos,
Everyone wants to feel like they are making a contribution in life. One way we get this is by being validated by others. It is an important trait of an effective leader to let people know their work matters and they are a positive contribution. Bloggers seek validation from their commenters, restaurants seek validation from customers. It is wise and sound business practice to listen to the reality of what is said. This is a big difference than appeasing the ego. When we run around trying to seek approval and look good for others we are identifying with the Counterfeit-Self. The Authentic-Self is guided by a ‘knowingness’ that sees validation as green lights on the road to the highest expression of ourselves.