Comments on: How To Avoid Being A Toxic Person: 13 Simple Tips http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/ The Personal Development Blog Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:24:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=364 By: rickthedick http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105416 rickthedick Sun, 09 Oct 2011 22:14:59 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105416 You know what's REALLY toxic? Bloggers who feel like they have to put stupid analogies in every paragraph to get their point across. You know what’s REALLY toxic? Bloggers who feel like they have to put stupid analogies in every paragraph to get their point across.

]]> By: SunnyVee http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105413 SunnyVee Sun, 09 Oct 2011 17:58:42 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105413 PS. Honest truth: after complications with my birth... I was officially pronounced dead. Fooled 'em all, I did ! PS.
Honest truth:
after complications with my birth… I was officially pronounced dead.

Fooled ‘em all, I did !

]]> By: SunnyVee http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105412 SunnyVee Sun, 09 Oct 2011 17:57:12 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105412 Dear "Quiet," I cant find the right words. I could have written your exact comments, myself (now, or at previous time in my life). (if it helps, a prior therapist told me after a painful breakup, "Well, he IS better off without you !" just so you know) EVERY ONE of us deserves to be accepted and loved just we are - even while we are responsible for our behavior. Please do not turn on yourself. You are okay, and you are NOT a bad person for what you've done - though it is up to you and you alone to do what you need to heal. xoxo Dear “Quiet,”
I cant find the right words.
I could have written your exact comments, myself (now, or at previous time in my life). (if it helps, a prior therapist told me after a painful breakup, “Well, he IS better off without you !” just so you know)

EVERY ONE of us deserves to be accepted and loved just we are – even while we are responsible for our behavior.

Please do not turn on yourself.
You are okay, and you are NOT a bad person for what you’ve done – though it is up to you and you alone to do what you need to heal.

xoxo

]]> By: SunnyVee http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105411 SunnyVee Sun, 09 Oct 2011 17:42:48 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105411 LOL :) LOL :)

]]> By: SunnyVee http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105410 SunnyVee Sun, 09 Oct 2011 17:40:33 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105410 I understand & hope you can 'hang in there.' i became the scapegoat of my family, and my own brother and sister knock me endlessly over "being toxic"...when it is really just a matter of who and which one of us is "more/most toxic" at any given time. I am doing the hard personal work. They are clinging to the usual patterns. Yet, I am the only pariah. This may be the most painful aspect of my entire life experience, so far. People's reactions to our behavior can be sooooo painful (but useful in identifying where we need to change). I totally understand the overwhelm and depression when it feels hard to get a foothold on anything positive. However - first step is to intentionally think less about yourself (myself) and practice taking on the perspective of others now & then. You may have exchanges with friends in which NO ONE CONSOLES or encourages you - and you are simply supporting someone else. You may feel that a specific convo or connection totally failed to meet any needs for you in that moment..BUT...(JIMO) that brings more balance to your interactions over time, and you should eventually see friends responding well to it. GOOD LUCK ! You are not a bad person for being this way, but you are responsible for becoming more balanced (GIVE and take) in relating to others. At least that is what I tell myself. ((hugs)) I understand & hope you can ‘hang in there.’
i became the scapegoat of my family, and my own brother and sister knock me endlessly over “being toxic”…when it is really just a matter of who and which one of us is “more/most toxic” at any given time. I am doing the hard personal work. They are clinging to the usual patterns. Yet, I am the only pariah. This may be the most painful aspect of my entire life experience, so far.

People’s reactions to our behavior can be sooooo painful (but useful in identifying where we need to change). I totally understand the overwhelm and depression when it feels hard to get a foothold on anything positive.

However – first step is to intentionally think less about yourself (myself) and practice taking on the perspective of others now & then. You may have exchanges with friends in which NO ONE CONSOLES or encourages you – and you are simply supporting someone else. You may feel that a specific convo or connection totally failed to meet any needs for you in that moment..BUT…(JIMO) that brings more balance to your interactions over time, and you should eventually see friends responding well to it.

GOOD LUCK ! You are not a bad person for being this way, but you are responsible for becoming more balanced (GIVE and take) in relating to others. At least that is what I tell myself.

((hugs))

]]> By: SunnyVee http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105408 SunnyVee Sun, 09 Oct 2011 17:31:12 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105408 Speaking of complaining...I recommend the tiny/easy to read book, "A Complaint Free World." and/or the related info at the website. They recommend the old "Rubber band" method by which one becomes more aware of complaining by snapping a rubber band on his/her wrist. Anyway - I probably do not do it justice in my description - but the BEST simple takeaway for me? = "Never complain to anyone unless they are in a position to quickly and directly resolve the problem at hand." Anything else is fruitless. Speaking of complaining…I recommend the tiny/easy to read book, “A Complaint Free World.” and/or the related info at the website.

They recommend the old “Rubber band” method by which one becomes more aware of complaining by snapping a rubber band on his/her wrist.

Anyway – I probably do not do it justice in my description – but the BEST simple takeaway for me? =
“Never complain to anyone unless they are in a position to quickly and directly resolve the problem at hand.” Anything else is fruitless.

]]> By: Dragos Roua http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105190 Dragos Roua Mon, 03 Oct 2011 11:09:56 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105190 I think I lost you at the coffee-table part... I think I lost you at the coffee-table part…

]]> By: koolaid http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-105187 koolaid Mon, 03 Oct 2011 09:41:15 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-105187 This is dangerously nasty advice.The article expects the reader to talk, or perhaps just think, badly about themselves by admitting to their "toxicity". Furthermore, each point essentially states a human emotional problem and advises to just get over it. Invalidating and isolating. It's an emphatically shallow hodgepodge of coffee-table inspirationals and abusive denial. This is dangerously nasty advice.The article expects the reader to talk, or perhaps just think, badly about themselves by admitting to their “toxicity”. Furthermore, each point essentially states a human emotional problem and advises to just get over it. Invalidating and isolating. It’s an emphatically shallow hodgepodge of coffee-table inspirationals and abusive denial.

]]> By: 77 Things I Did In 2010 | Dragos Roua - Brilliantly Better http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-102147 77 Things I Did In 2010 | Dragos Roua - Brilliantly Better Tue, 26 Jul 2011 07:07:44 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-102147 [...] at the gas they’re leaving behind. If you think you live with such a person, maybe reading this post will [...] [...] at the gas they’re leaving behind. If you think you live with such a person, maybe reading this post will [...]

]]> By: Diana http://www.dragosroua.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-toxic-person-13-simple-tips/#comment-96787 Diana Sun, 19 Jun 2011 16:31:22 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=5211#comment-96787 Thank-you !! Thank-you !!

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