Comments on: Rant Tolerance http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/ The Personal Development Blog Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:07:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=280 By: elebele http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79545 elebele Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:17:49 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79545 Usually what helps me in situation like this is to think that people are ranting at themselves, not at me. They are acting aggressive because of their personal context. This thinking helps me not to react immediately with aggression to their ranting; it gives me a short pause to think what to do next. .-= elebele´s last blog ..<a href="http://oalexa.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/melodia-zilei-2/" rel="nofollow">melodia zilei</a> =-. Usually what helps me in situation like this is to think that people are ranting at themselves, not at me. They are acting aggressive because of their personal context. This thinking helps me not to react immediately with aggression to their ranting; it gives me a short pause to think what to do next.
.-= elebele´s last blog ..melodia zilei =-.

]]> By: elebele http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79542 elebele Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:09:36 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79542 Hi Dragos, Doesn’t matter that you yelled at the beginning :), cause I will read your blog no matter what. It gives me powerful inspiration every day. And yes, I have an example for you: I have this colleague at my workplace (let’s call him Mitica) with which I have a very good relation, both professional and personal. But from time to time we go into tough discussions on general topics. This discussion transforms into almost fights, most of the times. Doesn’t matter who is right, because this is not the purpose of any discussion. I consider that the purpose is to make an exchange of opinions and arguments, so in the end both participants gain more acknowledge, etc. Problem: I consider Mitica a friend, and I don’t want to fight against him, metaphorically speaking. Solution: I stopped discussing with him any controversial subject, and let him express towards other people. Very soon he got into fight with them. The solution was when he realized that he crossed some lines, when he argued for his ideas. Hopefully we won’t have this kind of situation very soon. In the end: excellent subject, and very useful. .-= elebele´s last blog ..<a href="http://oalexa.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/melodia-zilei-2/" rel="nofollow">melodia zilei</a> =-. Hi Dragos,
Doesn’t matter that you yelled at the beginning :) , cause I will read your blog no matter what. It gives me powerful inspiration every day.

And yes, I have an example for you:
I have this colleague at my workplace (let’s call him Mitica) with which I have a very good relation, both professional and personal. But from time to time we go into tough discussions on general topics. This discussion transforms into almost fights, most of the times. Doesn’t matter who is right, because this is not the purpose of any discussion. I consider that the purpose is to make an exchange of opinions and arguments, so in the end both participants gain more acknowledge, etc.

Problem:
I consider Mitica a friend, and I don’t want to fight against him, metaphorically speaking.

Solution:
I stopped discussing with him any controversial subject, and let him express towards other people. Very soon he got into fight with them. The solution was when he realized that he crossed some lines, when he argued for his ideas. Hopefully we won’t have this kind of situation very soon.

In the end: excellent subject, and very useful.
.-= elebele´s last blog ..melodia zilei =-.

]]> By: Nea | Self Improvement Saga http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79351 Nea | Self Improvement Saga Mon, 11 Jan 2010 12:52:30 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79351 This was quite a unique article. I kept thinking of my responses to rants, but I can hardly think of any occasions where I stick with the phases. I have very little rant tolerance. I usually look at the ranter with shock and awe at the fact that they could so easily lose control. I'm more likely to ignore than participate, but I may put a little thought into it once the ranter is out of my site. Hmmm....something to think about. .-= Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/selfimprovementsaga/~3/quZQfWOTeJQ/" rel="nofollow">Happiness: By Chance or By Choice?</a> =-. This was quite a unique article. I kept thinking of my responses to rants, but I can hardly think of any occasions where I stick with the phases.

I have very little rant tolerance. I usually look at the ranter with shock and awe at the fact that they could so easily lose control. I’m more likely to ignore than participate, but I may put a little thought into it once the ranter is out of my site. Hmmm….something to think about.
.-= Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last blog ..Happiness: By Chance or By Choice? =-.

]]> By: Tim — Inspiration Pro http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79317 Tim — Inspiration Pro Mon, 11 Jan 2010 02:36:52 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79317 Excellent post, Dragos. There are things and situations in life that no one seems to talk about because they don't want to offend anyone or make themselves look bad. But if something is obviously true and it's causing problems for people, I don't think we should be afraid of pointing it out to garner more attention on the issue. .-= Tim — Inspiration Pro´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/InspirationPro/~3/0Olm-O-R0ZQ/how-to-know-when-someone%E2%80%99s-being-dishonest" rel="nofollow">How to Know When Someone’s Being Dishonest</a> =-. Excellent post, Dragos.

There are things and situations in life that no one seems to talk about because they don’t want to offend anyone or make themselves look bad. But if something is obviously true and it’s causing problems for people, I don’t think we should be afraid of pointing it out to garner more attention on the issue.
.-= Tim — Inspiration Pro´s last blog ..How to Know When Someone’s Being Dishonest =-.

]]> By: Bushman http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79306 Bushman Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:15:52 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79306 Awsome post, and a matching capcha, never saw that before:) Hard to respond to it though. I know what everybody means (and I´m getting your point too, yes :)) but it keeps happening to me. I´m 38 and and i´m stuck at stage two :( And I´m sorry to say (I really am) that I´m quite good at it, and then I have my size 2.00M (I guess that makes me 6.6 Inch) against me. Sounds stupid, but it really works against me in this respect. Yeah, i don´t get into fights. But I scare people very easily, even my friends tell me so. I get excited quickly, and then I scare people, because I "rant". To me its expressing my opinion, but others perceive it as ranting, and they are probably right. And not for some weeks, for years now. I always have stage three follow (would have a much happier life if i didn´t:p) but I can´t seem to be able to get hold of that stage two. This sentence descibes very accurate what happens: "Of course, if you followed all the steps until this level, it’s a bit too late to realize that, since you already had your fight. This stage is usually the one you say to yourself: “next time I won’t go into this anymore. I’ll be just cool”. But it happens again. And again. I´m not physically agressive (although apperently I come across as such, I never hit anyone in my life) but verbally I am. Not as in cursing so much, but i tend to get loud and very direct/open. I´m working on that though, and your Blog is one of the things i look into for help on that subject. http://www.dragosroua.com/100-ways-to-screw-up-your-life/ is a great guide in that respect. My respect to all of you *boughs* Awsome post, and a matching capcha, never saw that before:)
Hard to respond to it though. I know what everybody means (and I´m getting your point too, yes :) ) but it keeps happening to me.
I´m 38 and and i´m stuck at stage two :(
And I´m sorry to say (I really am) that I´m quite good at it, and then I have my size 2.00M (I guess that makes me 6.6 Inch) against me. Sounds stupid, but it really works against me in this respect. Yeah, i don´t get into fights. But I scare people very easily, even my friends tell me so. I get excited quickly, and then I scare people, because I “rant”. To me its expressing my opinion, but others perceive it as ranting, and they are probably right.
And not for some weeks, for years now. I always have stage three follow (would have a much happier life if i didn´t:p) but I can´t seem to be able to get hold of that stage two.
This sentence descibes very accurate what happens: “Of course, if you followed all the steps until this level, it’s a bit too late to realize that, since you already had your fight. This stage is usually the one you say to yourself: “next time I won’t go into this anymore. I’ll be just cool”.
But it happens again. And again. I´m not physically agressive (although apperently I come across as such, I never hit anyone in my life) but verbally I am. Not as in cursing so much, but i tend to get loud and very direct/open.
I´m working on that though, and your Blog is one of the things i look into for help on that subject. http://www.dragosroua.com/100-ways-to-screw-up-your-life/ is a great guide in that respect.
My respect to all of you
*boughs*

]]> By: Walter http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79241 Walter Sun, 10 Jan 2010 07:07:25 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79241 Being human and being programmed to protect our ego, we are definitely alien to the third phase you have stated here. It has become instinctive for us to respond in the first two phases. Unfortunately, only those who care enough to be aware of themselves are able to elevate to higher plane of understanding which is a requisite to be able observe and learn from the situation. Few people choose to grow, and so ranting will always be approached the ordinary way. My tolerance for rant is very low. But one of my strategy to handle myself is to detach from my instinctive response and endure the surge of emotion. As the uncomfortable process goes, I am seeking answers and learning at the same time. It's amazing to discover how we are controlled by a force other than our true inner self. :-) .-= Walter´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.lionslinger.com/2010/01/08/the-essence-of-giving/" rel="nofollow">The essence of giving</a> =-. Being human and being programmed to protect our ego, we are definitely alien to the third phase you have stated here. It has become instinctive for us to respond in the first two phases. Unfortunately, only those who care enough to be aware of themselves are able to elevate to higher plane of understanding which is a requisite to be able observe and learn from the situation. Few people choose to grow, and so ranting will always be approached the ordinary way.

My tolerance for rant is very low. But one of my strategy to handle myself is to detach from my instinctive response and endure the surge of emotion. As the uncomfortable process goes, I am seeking answers and learning at the same time. It’s amazing to discover how we are controlled by a force other than our true inner self. :-)
.-= Walter´s last blog ..The essence of giving =-.

]]> By: Meg at Demanding Joy http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79220 Meg at Demanding Joy Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:40:33 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79220 What a fun topic - thanks for writing it! In my twenties, I would respond to a rant in kind. Always up for a fight. These days though I understand that someone ranting at you is almost never about you, so I tend to be dismissive and save my energy for more worthwhile things. Although...a good argument with a worthy adversary now and then to get your blood moving and your tongue sharp is a good thing. .-= Meg at Demanding Joy´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/demandingjoy/~3/5dDrmDhbHiA/" rel="nofollow">Hot & Dirty</a> =-. What a fun topic – thanks for writing it! In my twenties, I would respond to a rant in kind. Always up for a fight. These days though I understand that someone ranting at you is almost never about you, so I tend to be dismissive and save my energy for more worthwhile things. Although…a good argument with a worthy adversary now and then to get your blood moving and your tongue sharp is a good thing.
.-= Meg at Demanding Joy´s last blog ..Hot & Dirty =-.

]]> By: dragos http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79188 dragos Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:50:58 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79188 A very familiar story you're telling here :-) I think we came here to learn, but in the process we become a little bit hasty. We have to get older to let go of this hastiness. A very familiar story you’re telling here :-) I think we came here to learn, but in the process we become a little bit hasty. We have to get older to let go of this hastiness.

]]> By: dragos http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79187 dragos Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:44:50 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79187 Yes, letting off the steam it's ok and healthy and all, but as you said, the problem arise at the other end. :-) Yes, letting off the steam it’s ok and healthy and all, but as you said, the problem arise at the other end. :-)

]]> By: dragos http://www.dragosroua.com/rant-tolerance/#comment-79186 dragos Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:43:41 +0000 http://www.dragosroua.com/?p=4471#comment-79186 A little bit of controversy didn't hurt anyone, you're right. As long as there's something to learn from it. I am all into: "well, you may be right but I have a different opinion" approach. But I don't really see any benefit in feeding the trolls. A little bit of controversy didn’t hurt anyone, you’re right. As long as there’s something to learn from it. I am all into: “well, you may be right but I have a different opinion” approach. But I don’t really see any benefit in feeding the trolls.

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