Aggression Recycled

You’ve been there, admit it. You had your share of aggressive thoughts, intentions or even actions. You did at least something in your life with violence and aggressiveness. And now you regret it.

Let’s stop a little and look at this closer. Because I think in its core, aggression is something that you can use. Or re-use. Or, even better, re-cycle.

What Is Aggression?

Aggression is a violent stream of actions performed in order to change your reality. Behind this rather dry definition is a ready to erupt volcano, and I know it. You also felt it more than once in your life. But the truth is aggression is just something you do in order to change something in your surroundings. And as such, it is a part of your life.

More than often I found myself acting aggressively only and only where there was no other way around. Or so I thought. I acted violently after I tried every possible way and had no results, after I did everything I could and my surroundings were still unchanged. Then, as a last resort, I used aggression to break the chain.

The bad thing was that in the process some other stuff was broken. This is what happens usually when you become aggressive: you break stuff instead of building stuff. You break glasses, you break windows, some powerful people break even walls and some other people break hearts. And then regret came.

That’s the aggression pattern: a strong feeling of pressure, a high moment of “fight or flight” which usually triggers the real actions, and then regret. This is how aggression usually works.

Social constraints

Our society is working now in a very balanced way. The cells of our modern society are more than often educated individuals who know how to deal with pressuring situations. You learn the rules of a peaceful cohabitation from a very young age. You also have external tools or options to chose when you face a threat. Nowadays people seldom find themselves in “fight or flight” situations“. So, you don’t need to use aggression to normally socialize.

But there were times in which society was quite hectic and the normal balance we experience today was a dream. In fact, every major shift in history was a revolution or something like that. Seems that humanity advanced by turmoil rather than organic growth. And turmoil is extremely aggressive.

Still, society puts a lot of constraints on the individual. Those widely advertised success mirages and dream like lifestyles can create enormous pressure on a regular guy. Striving to attain high standards is more and more difficult. And when your regular arsenal of tools is empty you get to your last resort: aggression.

When the ladder is too crowded you start pushing people away. When your time is limited, you start eliminating ”distractions“ like friends or even family. When there is only one place for a winner you start to fight every other competitor. Without even knowing, you’re in a ”fight or flight“ situation again. (more…)