Action versus Reaction

Acting is what makes you happy, reacting is what makes you miserable.

Whenever you act, you perform a conscious choice, you decide you’re going to do that thing. You become responsible. But when you react, you follow somebody else’s choice, you’re responding to an external stimulus. You’re not responsible anymore, you leave the responsibility to the stimulus. When you act, you’re the pupeteeer, when you react, you’re the puppet.

Choice versus Context

Acting is independent of the context, reacting is totally dependent of the context.

You may be in favorable contexts at times. When you’re a kid, most of the time you’re in a continuous favorable context. The problem is that context is artificial, you are protected by your parents. While you’re a kid, in a favorable context, acting or reacting are basically the same: whatever you do the context will remain favorable. Your parents will love and protect you no matter what. But once you get out from their protection, you may hit some very unfriendly contexts. And here you’ll learn the real difference between conscious action and powerless reaction.

If you consciously chose success, you don’t really care about context. You’re going to be successful no matter what. You act, you’re consciously building your own way. You chose to get there no matter what. But if you don’t make this choice, and your life is just a reaction to a chaotic flow of stimulus, then anything in the surroundings will help you fail. It’s you who let the context do that, and you did this by resigning from your own command, by reacting instead of acting.

For instance, being miserable after losing your job it’s a reaction. The context was really hard for you and you lost something. The “normal” reaction is to be sad, worried, discouraged and miserable. On the other hand, being confident, manifesting hope and starting to look for another job (or even starting your own business) it’s a conscious choice. Losing your job it’s just a fact. What you do about this fact is what really matters.

Reward And Frustration

Acting is rewarding, reacting is frustrating.

Every time you act on something, you are rewarded in some way. Not every conscious action will be successful. You may fail at times. Maybe many times. But you still get your reward. When you fail, the reward is in learning. You made a choice, you acted in a specific way and you learned something, even if the action was a complete failure.

If you react, all you get is frustration. You didn’t make a choice, you just responded to a stimulus. Maybe you wanted something else, but instead of choosing an action, you automatically reacted to that stimulus. There is no way you can get a reward if you’re reacting to something. Even if the initial stimulus was positive.

For instance, you blindly fall in love with somebody.That’s a positive stimulus and you reacted to it. After the initial, unconscious chemistry phase, you have a choice: to love and accept no matter what. If you don’t consciously chose to love no matter what, you’ll get hurt. Instead of accepting the other one, you’ll start to control him. In love, jealousy is a reaction, unconditional acceptance is a conscious action.

Choosing versus Enduring

The difference between action and reaction is not always simple. Most of the time we’re acting by habit, and habits are just safe reactions. We know how to ride a bike, we learned how to do it, when we’re on the bike, we’re just reacting to it. It’s a safe reaction. Many of our habits are safe reactions. But some of them are just stupid.

Some of the most dangerous safe reactions are related to money. We tend to react to economic stimulus and news, rather then act upon them. For instance, if there’s news about a bad economic context, we’re starting to protect our investments. That’s a safe reaction. The bad economic context may or may not hurt us directly, we never really know that. But the pre-programmed reaction to cover our savings will emerge without any control from our part.

A much better approach would be to directly act upon our finances. For instance, it’s not uncommon that investment is much more profitable during hard economic conditions. A lot of stuff, including real estate, is getting cheaper. Running to protect our money, by reaction, instead of investing it, by conscious action, will be stupid. Again, the economic context it’s a fact, everybody will feel it, what really matters is our attitude towards it, our choices.

Results versus Excuses

Action creates results, reaction creates excuses.

Every time you consciously chose something, you are producing results. You are the one who started everything, hence the reality obeyed you. Again, even if the action was, by any standard, a failure. Reality responded to your stimulus and created a result. Maybe it wasn’t the result you wanted, but it’s still a result.

If you’re reacting to something or somebody else, you are producing excuses. Your reactions to external stimulus will seldom be aligned with your internal values. If you chose to react to stimulus, you’re already giving up your values and empower the stimulus. You’re not acting, you are giving out control.

Most of the time, your reactions will try to protect yourself from apparently bad things: somebody yelling at you, losing your job, being left by your partner. A typical reaction to all of these will be frustration. And perhaps sadness, lack of hope, misery. So, after the yelling is gone, after the job is gone, after the partner is gone and after your miserable reaction, all you will be left with are excuses. It could have been the other way around, but it isn’t. Sorry.

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A typical reaction after reading this post will be to think a little bit, to identify possible matches with your own behavioral patterns and then to forget it while gazing at the next funny cat picture on the web. A conscious action will be to bookmark it, to share it with as many friends as you can and to comment on it.

I’m joking, of course. But I’m consciously choosing to joke with you by writing this blog post, instead of gazing at the wall in my office and thinking life sucks. And this action will certainly create some great results.

How about you?

Flashes

I lived in communism for 19 years. It was an interesting time. Seeing it from now makes it a little bit different, as in a lesson we had to learn, but at that time, being there and living it was pretty nasty.

One of the things that were pretty common during communism was poverty. The vast majority of people was poor. And poverty created some of the most unbelievable behaviors in human beings.

Helping Flashes

For instance, in order to make money, the Police started to put cars with radar control devices in the most unexpected places. The reason was not to make you slow down while you were driving, but to actually “get you”. The radar control cars were actually hidden behind the trees, placed right after a road curve or behind other similar cars on the side road. Everything  they could do in order to  disguise the presence of that car.

No wonder it was very easy to get caught for speeding. In fact, radar controls cars were almost part of the roads in communism. And you know why? It wasn’t the ticket they were supposed to give you, but the bribe the policemen expected. The real reason was not a more fluid and secure traffic, but pocket money for the policemen, who, as everyone else, were poor. Only they had a little bit of tolls to create some pressure. The ticket was really high and nobody risked trouble with the authorities, so they were giving a small bribe and they were free to go. During those times, being caught by the radar control car and bribing the policemen in order to avoid a ticket was normal.

But, you know, even in the worst conditions, people have this ability to adapt. When there is a constraint, and that constraint is really bad – and avoiding the radar control cars was pretty important for every driver – usually you find a way around it. Introducing flashes.

Every time a driver spotted a radar car, after he passed it, started to flash for the drivers coming from the other side of the road. Like this, they were warned. They knew that in a few hundreds of meters, or even kilometers, there was some police car waiting. And they slowed down. Flashing was a fantastic communication tool. It was almost a code. Nobody, even communism, couldn’t do anything against it.

Although the Police knew that all drivers are signaling to each other, they had no way to stop it. So, when they placed a radar car, they wouldn’t keep it in the same place for more than half an hour. And only the first drivers were caught. After a half an hour, for dozens of kilometers behind and ahead the radar car location, every drivers was already warned. So, they have to move to a new location. That was one of the reasons they were so present, they have to move from place to place because they were busted so fast.

Aggressive Flashes

Times changed. 20 years ago communism was replaced by a – more or less savage – capitalism. People started to earn more. Differences appeared. In communism everybody had the same type of car. In capitalism people started to have faster and more powerful cars. But the roads remained the same, narrow and filled with holes.

And another interesting thing happened. The guys with faster cars needed more space. If you had a slower car and another guy, with a faster car was behind you, you had to move away. To give room. To let the other one pass. And the fast drivers used flashes in order to make you aware of that.

I don’t know if this driving habit exists in other countries (from my experience, it isn’t) but in my country was incredibly popular. And still is. On the highway, is not uncommon to see in the rear mirror a fast growing car signaling you with light flashes. Go away. Make room. I am more powerful than you and I’m taking the road.

Although I drive quite a powerful car, I’m not a huge fan of “get away” flashes. On the contrary, I find them almost abusive. It’s prone to accidents and it induces a feeling of competition, totally unnecessary on public roads. To be honest, I kinda dislike the guys who are flashing me to move over.

The Light

As you may already guessed by now, this post isn’t about cars, being them slow or fast. Is not about communism or capitalism either. In fact, this post is about light and the way you use it.

In both cases the drivers were using the same thing: light. In the first case, to help, in the second, to abuse. There was this choice they made each time: first time, to support others, second time, to force and dominate. Each time they used the same tool: light. Each time they used it in the same way: flashing. Only the meaning was different.

There’s nothing inherently bad or good in or around you. You make it good or bad with your choices. You give it meaning. Without you, light is just light, nothing more. It’s you who make it alive and give it a certain quality. You can chose to support others and create, or you can chose to abuse and defeat. The environment is the same for everybody, we’re all acting in the same universe.

There’s no difference between you and other people, except your choices. You have access to the same pool of tools as everyone else. You’re not exceptionally gifted, not humiliatingly deprived by anything but your choices.

Your car may be slower or faster, that’s not the point. The point is how you use your car, what you do along the way. Are you building up something so powerful that can be used by everybody, making the world a better place? You create something so valuable that is easily recognizable by everyone on earth, while enjoying your trip? Or are you rushing faster and faster straight to the end of the journey, forcing everyone else to obey you?

How do you use your light?