Fear Of Failure, Self-Sufficiency and Money

After my first successful exit, 2 years ago, I tried to keep a close contact with the local business community. Although my non-compete agreement was a little bit tougher, preventing me from starting something again on the same market, I somehow managed to keep my business network alive. Looking back (without anger, of course) this proved to be a very good thing to do.

As of August, this year, my non-compete agreement is over and I am already involved in a few local projects. One of those projects is in fact an entrepreneurship-investors event, called Venture Connect. In short, it’s a place where local entrepreneurs can make a pitch about their business an ask for funding from the VC’s. It’s not a competition, meaning there is no prize to be won. It’s more like a networking event. Entrepreneurs get a chance to present their business in front of some (very) big investors and those aforementioned investors get a glimpse of the local market. And there is no limit to the amount of money the investors can put in a business. If someone could convince them they have to put 1 million, they will put it in.

Along with other 3 very respected local entrepreneurs (Radu Georgescu, Marius Ghenea and Orlando Nicoara) I am in the board of this event. The other 2 seats of the board are taken by the initiators, the Biris Goran law house. Basically, my job here is to screen interesting projects, to evaluate them and to make sure they meet a certain criteria.

What does have to do with fear of failure or self-sufficiency? A lot. Being in this position I get a direct response from many of the interested entrepreneurs. Very few of them are actually getting to pitch, although almost all of their businesses are qualified. Today’s post will try to explain some of the reasons behind this rather unexpected response.

Fear Of Failure

Every time I ask some local entrepreneurs if they are interested, almost 70% of them are shaking their head in a very obvious attitude of mistrust and they’re almost invariably answer: “Why?”. Well, because you can accelerate your business, I respond. Grow. Expand. Develop. “Well, I don’t think I’m able to do this. Right now, at least. I don’t know…”

This answer always makes me smile. Sometimes I even laugh out loud, making my conversation partners really preoccupied with my mental health. Behind these sentences I can literally see the real words they’re avoiding to say: “What if I’m not going to make a good impression? What if I’m not going to succeed? What if I’m going to make a total fool of myself? It’s better not to do it at all.” And that makes me smile big time.

Fear of failure is one of the biggest obstacles in business. The difference between successful entrepreneurs and wannabees or just perpetual losers is always made by this. The successful ones aren’t afraid to fail. They have a lower tolerance to risk. They’re ready to jump into something, just for the thrill of it.

Although this Venture Connect event seems like a very technical situation: a bunch of skilled people with their own business facing a bunch of investors, it’s really not. It’s just a transaction. And the same type of transactions  occurs in every business situation. If you want a piece of the pie (or the market, in business terms) you have to make your pitch, convince several million people to consume your product, and find a way to get their money for that. In the case of this business event, it’s even simpler: you gotta make a pitch to convince only one person to get a piece of an already existing pie (the entrepreneur’s business) for a certain amount of money.

Well, no risk it, no biscuit. Fear of failure has nothing to do with entrepreneurship.

Self-sufficiency

The next answer in terms of percentage, amounting for about 20% of the total answers is: “Well, I don’t need this right now”. And it’s a genuine answer. They really think they don’t need money. They’re well as they are. But there’s a big trap behind those words. Usually, I get sad when I hear that. Because, as an entrepreneurs, you can’t really be satisfied. Unless you’re aiming for the comfort zone, which is not a good place to be.

Every business should grow. The business ecosystem is build in such a way that only things which are growing can survive. There is no such thing like: “keep a low profile” in business. You will be squashed like a bug from your competition in a matter of months or, if you’re lucky, years. If you ever feel, as an entrepreneur, that you have did enough, go see a shrink. Because your entrepreneurial vibe is getting way too low.

It’s not a pattern of greed here, don’t get me wrong. It’s a pattern of creativity. Do something better, do something more ingenuous, do something more pleasurable for your clients. But do more than you’re usually doing. Otherwise, your competition will.

So, every time I hear entrepreneurs they don’t really want to get in touch with their own growth, I try to keep away. It’s not a good vibe. And it’s contagious.

Money

In business, money is just a resource. It helps you make things happening. Many entrepreneurs are mistaking money as the ultimate goal. It’s a very good indicator of your business health and money has its own importance in a number of financial reports, but, other than that, is just a resource. Like human resources, or like the building in which you are having your offices.

Every time a young entrepreneur hears about money, I notice a split pattern: they’re either jumping on it, taking as much as they can without giving too much back, or they’re running away from it, as it would be something dangerous.

Between these two categories, somewhere in the middle, there is the relaxed entrepreneur, the one that you read about on Mashable or TechCrunch, securing another round of financing. Or, in my terms, those are the balanced entrepreneurs, the healthy ones. They are accounting for 10% of the answers. One in ten. Not too much.

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Well, after all, Venture Connect is just an event. It will pass. But my personal lessons from it are here to stay. Here they are, in just a few paragraphs.

Fear of Failure

If you’re not jumping on each and every opportunity you can face, you’ll never know your real boundaries. You can’t really test your limits unless you stretch them. Unless you put yourself in a very difficult situation, which will, for real, finish with an undesired outcome. Yes, you can have an undesired outcome at some point. The subtle difference is that the undesired outcome is not a failure. It’s just a lesson.

Self-sufficiency

If you think all you have is just enough, you’re doomed to dwarfing. You’re going to be a very happy dwarf, looking for the rest of your life from the bottom up to those who thought they never had enough. Self-sufficiency is just another word for the comfort zone. The sweetest prison of all. But still a prison.

Money

Money is just a form of energy. It helps you translate some ideas into reality. Bringing things into matter. That’s all there is to it. But as simple as it may be, money is a very dangerous type of energy. Because if you’re not taking all the necessary measures to keep the energies balanced, you’ll end up in a wild whirlwind which will eventually take over your life.

In much simpler words, it means that every transaction should be balanced. The amount of money you get should be equal with the amount of value you provide. Being it a product, part of your company, the value of your consulting hour, whatever.

If you’re getting too little for your value, you will become drained. For instance, if you charge too little for your services. You’re putting out too much energy and getting back far too little. You’ll be tired, depressed and sad. I’ve been there a number of times too. And found out that the best way to avoid this is to just leave your current transaction. Go out, find a different one. Balance the energies until you’re starting to feel empowered and relaxed.

If you’re getting too much for your value, you will become vulnerable. You charge too much for what you offer, or, in other words, you’re getting money for nothing and the chicks for free. Be very careful: the extra energy you get, without your control, will eventually take over. The most obvious example is of the people who are unexpectedly winning the lottery. They’re seldom putting something out in exchange of the money they get (some of them are doing it, and they’re managing to live a balanced life) so they become, rather sooner than later, the victim of their own money. In a few years they’re worse than before winning the lottery.

So, where are you now in terms of fear of failure, self-sufficiency and money? I’m just curious…

The Art Of Setting Great Expectations

What do you want to happen to you? How do you envision your desired outcome? How do you set up expectations?

In my experience, setting up expectations is one of the most sensitive areas in our lives. Because every time you set yourself up to something, your surroundings are changing. I find this amazing. You start to look at the world differently, because you expect it to behave in a certain way and the world actually start to change. But I find more than often this change to be the result of the way you set up your expectations. To be more precise, the changing speed of the world is directly influenced by the size of your expectations. Aim for less, and your world will change slower. Think big, and your world will explode.

One Step At A Time

Suppose you have a blog. You are comfortable writing, you have a decent posting routine and already started to think about monetization. But you can’t really ask money from your blog, unless you have a decent traffic. So, you set up some expectations here. Let’s say: I want 50 views per article. Not bad for a new blog.

In a certain amount of time, your articles are starting to get that. They are making 50-60 views. Interesting. Your expectations have been met. Now you can start putting some advertising on your blog, you can even try a little bit of AdSense and get a grasp of this entire monetization thing.

Sooner than you think, you realize that 50-60 views per blog post is not enough. It might be good for some peanuts money, but not enough for paying a vacation in Hawaii. So, you raise the stake. You set up higher expectations: 500-600 hits for every blog post.

In another certain amount of time, you get that too. Not only you get 500-600 views per article, but you get some residual traffic too, from your older posts. And that traffic starts to add up. It’s getting better and better. Now you make enough money from your blog to afford a nice two weeks vacation on an exotic island.

But then again, you realize that this can be better. Instead of spending only two weeks on an exotic island you start thinking why not spending half a year there? And the other half on some mountains resort? You have enough experience in blogging and now you know how to do it. So, you raise it again: 5000-6000 views per blog post.

Again, in a certain amount of time, you get there. Now you make so much money from your blog that your entire lifestyle has changed. You live where you want on this planet, when you want. Travel is something natural and your money problems are gone forever. Your expectations have been met, once again.

From the moment you set up your initial expectations, of 50-60 views per article, up to the moment you get 5000-6000 views per article, several years have passed.

Disruptive Approach

Now suppose you have the same blog, you are the same person, only you set up different expectations. Instead of aiming at 50-60 views for your articles, you aim directly for 5000-6000 views. What happens now?

Well, the same thing: in a certain amount of time, your expectations will be met. You will reach that goal. The only difference is that you won’t take those baby steps.

From the moment you set up your initial expectations, of 5000-6000 views per article, up to the moment you get 5000-6000 views per article, a certain time have passed.

But, (yes, there is a “but” here), in my direct experience, this period of time is less than the years in the baby step approach.

And I’m supporting my affirmation with this very blog. When I started it, a year ago, I aimed for 100k visits each month. I’m there now. That was my expectation. I didn’t even care when I had fewer than that. I never acknowledged the gradual increase, month by month. I watched the numbers, of course, but I didn’t acknowledged the gradual, small increase, as a success. Instead, I was focused on the bigger numbers. And I was also focused on writing the best content I can, sharing my knowledge and promoting it. I only did 2 milestones: one at the first 6 months of blogging and the other at the first year of blogging.

So, what’s the difference? Why so many people are setting for those baby steps? Why don’t they start thinking and acting “big” from the first time? Here’s what I think about this.

Fear of Failure

People are afraid of taking big steps because they are afraid of making big failures. Somehow, a smaller failure sounds like something more bearable. I’m puzzled by that, to be honest. A failure is a failure. There is no quality of it. You either succeed, you either don’t. A smaller failure is just a social construct. You’re accepted if you fail under a certain threshold. If you go beyond that, you’re not accepted anymore. Regardless of the fact you failed both times.

Fear of making mistakes was definitely something that kept me away for achieving some of my earlier goals. I was so convinced that if I will fail “small” nothing will really happen to me. Well, I did failed small a couple of times. And guess what: nothing was really happened to me.

Living In Your Comfort Zone

We’re designed to act and evolve in a circle of safety. We call this the comfort zone. Setting up great expectations forces you to leave this comfort zone and act on moving sands. Leaving the comfort zone is difficult. It’s costly. It’s demanding. So, why leave it if you can act from the inside and take only baby steps?

Acting too much inside your comfort zone will make you weak. Setting up expectations too close to your comfort zone will never create breakthroughs. You will reach those expectations and you will be successful, no doubt about it. But in my personal experience, a linear evolution will eventually lead to stagnation. Big achievements require big leaps not baby steps.

Overprotecting Your Self-Esteem

We cannot function properly without self-esteem. We need this as a fuel for our own identity. If we cannot properly identify ourselves with inner models we value, then our acts will start to be confusing. Self-esteem is something we tend to protect with great vigor. It’s deep down at the core of our values. The moment we lose our self-esteem we are literally at lose, embracing any possible and available behavior.

Any disruptive attempt will shake this self-esteem. Both ways. A huge expectation will boost your self-esteem. And a huge failure will bring it down. So, in order to keep our self-esteem within reasonable figures, we avoid big expectations. We put a layer of safety around this core value and try to protect it. Only we can’t really protect self-esteem by avoiding big expectations. It’s like trying to build up muscle by reading fitness books.

Ignoring Self-Discipline

Setting smaller expectations is usually a sign of a short attention span. We cannot focus on long term tasks, so we chose something smaller. After each small victory we set up another small task, and so on. Baby steps are the result of a baby discipline. While there is nothing wrong with being a child, if you really want to achieve your goals, you should aim for something bigger than the living room coach. It’s a perfect goal for a one year old who’s starting to walk, but it’s ridiculous for a grown up who wants to travel the world.

Self-discipline is the ability to do what you have to do, period. Liking it or not is not a question of self-discipline, it’s a question of liking it or not. Doing what you have to do is so simple, yet people tend to mix it every time with this hedonistic approach: oh, well, I might do this, but I don’t like it. Get over it. You’ve set up your own goal, you’ve schedule the tasks, now do it.

The Art Of Setting Great Expectations

Be fearless, get out of your comfort zone, value yourself no matter what and don’t quit.

Yes, as simple as that.