Don’t Spend Your Money Buying Friends

This is a guest post from Zoli Cerei from SimplyWillDo.com.

The recession or, speaking a bit more generally, a lack of money shouldn’t cut down on your social life. We have to be aware of the correlation between our financial and social status, and have to learn to separate these. This coin has two sides: those who are financially strong enough may end up “buying” friends and later feeling insecure about them and question themselves whether they can count on these people, or not. The opposite is when those financially unstable don’t have the confidence to build a social circle because they fear uncomfortable situations caused by money.

A modern day manifestation of this issue is the exchange of internet friend for money. You might have also faced this, it is basically just another kind of advertising: this time what you pay for are Facebook friends or Twitter followers. Were these sites meant for that to happen really?

Friends, Money and Giving Value In Real Life

Be respectable by respecting others. Everyone shares human values of high standards, and if you want to observe this just a little, you will. Once you start respecting these values, others will appreciate the gesture, and respect you in return. Respect doesn’t have to be material, an honest compliment, a helpful movement but even powerful constructive criticism can mean a lot to the other one.

Be friendly, because that’s the best way to actually make… friends. Too many people fear kindness. Kindness is in a way revealing yourself to someone else, showing something from the inside of you. Too many people fear responsibility, since when you’re taking responsibility for something, then you become accountable for that thing. Too many people fear saying their opinion out loud: if your opinion is no longer concealed, you may too be criticized. Friendships involve all of these: being friendly means being nice and kind to your friend. It also means taking responsibility for them and for you as well. It means undertaking your opinion, and saying it honestly even if it is negative at times. Too many people fear being friendly, because it is not always easy, no one said it is. But it’s obviously the best way to make friends.

Be a loyal friend in happiness and in sorrow, too. I observed that, contrary to the saying, a friend in need and sorrow isn’t always a friend indeed. Rather, a friend in joy is. While being next to someone when he is going through hard times you might even comfort yourself observing that you are actually in a better situation. However, when your friend has just accomplished one of their dreams, it is usually harder to honestly be happy about the situation.

Realize you can’t be friends with everyone. While you can buy everyone a beer at the party, and that might make everyone feel good, you can’t actually be friends with everyone. There are people who you don’t name as your best friend; however, you would like them to call you their best friend. Is that fair? Being best friends is mutual.

The depth of online friendships, or buying Twitter followers

Provide Great Content. This is the first step to any relationship, and not just online. You provide something that others like and that they would like to receive more often. In the online world, that’s the moment when they hit the “Follow” or the “Subscribe” button. Whatever you’re doing on the internet, keep an eye on providing something useful to the online society, and others will notice you.

Make Your Voice Heard. Engage with others. Replying to tweets and leaving comments can be at times as useful as it is to buy an advertising spot, and it costs nothing. Today, the web is “social”, and as I said, being social is by far not equal to being rich. Show you’re a human, not just a bank account. Engage.

Be honest. Don’t call everyone your friend after the click of a button. That’s something that really annoys me in the case of social networks: relationships are instantly branded as friendships. Making friends online is possible; however, just as it is in real life, it is a process. A relationship goes through several phases until it can be called a friendship, just like you don’t go to bed on a first date. If you have not yet gone through this process with someone, don’t call them a friend yet.

Conclusion

Money is a powerful tool in our lives and using it wisely is an unquestionable power of any man or woman. Money can buy you medicine, it cannot buy your health. It can buy you sex, but not love. It can buy company but not friends. Showing human values and respecting your fellows, however, will surely turn into great experiences.

About the author: Zoli Cserei is a very young simplicity and productivity blogger and an ever-curious hacker of life who writes for Simply Will Do. Check out his blog to see whether he has some useful stuff for you or maybe subscribe to his RSS feed for more.

Entrepreneurship As A Personal Development Tool

10 years ago I started my own business. I didn’t exactly know what I was going to do, it was something mainly related to the online thingie that was starting to rise at that time. Nothing clear in terms of business plans, financing, strategy or management but with a tremendous drive to succeed. I guess the main reason behind starting my own business was my unconscious drive to publicly show that I was good at something. For those of you into astrology this might also be related to my North Node in the 2nd house in Aquarius, but let’s not get too technical… Some of my initial motivations had faded during years, some had grown stronger and during this 10 years slice of my life some new motivations appeared. The official ending of my first business was several months ago, when I succesfuly sold it to one of the most important players in the Romanian online publishing. Quite a success, wherever you may look at it from.

That was the end of the business though, not of my entrepreneurship. Ater selling, I turned all of my energies towards this blog which I am building almost from scratch, but with different motivations and metrics. In this post I’ll share some of my thoughts regarding entrepreneurship, business and personal development.

The Definition Of An Entrepreneur

99% of the definitions of a business will have something to do with generating profit. Or with generating steady income sources. Or with creating a more indulgent lifestyle. The entrepreneur is then defined as the guy who’s going to do all of these. And entrepreneurship would subsequently be the action of starting a business. This type of business. Every decent dictionary will tell you that doing business will ultimately have something to do with profit, somehow. Put in some money and at the other end of the business take out some more.

Every guy who has the idea, the resources and the energy to create such a process stream will then be an entrepreneur. I have nothing against this definition, except the fact that it doesn’t really deal with the failure part of this activity. As an entrepreneur you can succeed, but you can also fail. There is nothing wrong with failure. This doesn’t make you less of an entrepreneur. Not to speak about the fact that it doesn’t make you less of a respectable person, one thing that is most of the times forgotten in the modern society.

An entrepreneur is a person who is pushing his own limits toward a new level of personal evolution. Being an entrepreneur is about committing to your creative drive and starting to make reality obey your wish. Being an entrepreneur is all about courage and trust, hope and discipline, inspiration and endurance. It really doesn’t have to do with a successful business, although most of the times the successful entrepreneur will end up with a successful business, too. But one can also fail in terms of business, but still succeed as an entrepreneur. (more…)