Today is the seventh day of the 33 days challenge. The question for today was: “Who’s your best friend?”.
I’m updating the posts as I get access to the answers. Hopefully, in a couple of days everything will be in “real time” again.
Now, back to the answers.
A.A. “Hmmm, dunno! I lost the track with my friends and I feel that I lost my privilege to have a best friend. Now that you asked me, it makes me realize that I have gone too far and I have to find my way back. Actually, I started from December to make peace with myself and maybe the next level of this process will be to reconnect with people.”
Sounds good. Actually, it sounds great! Go for it!
C.G. “To answer yesterdays question. 46 but don’t tell anyone. My bestfriend is my husband. We met in high school. He is my best friend because he knows me more than anyone else. I can also tell him things I can’t share with anyone else..or at least I don’t think I could share with my other friends due to lack of understanding/compassion. We go way back. There is history.”
That’s awesome. I find it very rarely that couples are formed over friendships these days. It lasts more than lust, in my opinion.
S.C “I have a few good friends. I am not sure I have a best friend outside my family. But definitely my mom comes as close as ever to being a best friend to me – she is always supportive, wise, strong and kind. She lives back home in Romania (Bucharest).”
Great relationship! It’s also very rare to find this type of connection in parent-child situations. Way to go!
C.F. “Usually, your best friend is your closest friend. I reckon it is relatively easy for anybody to tell who their closest friends are: the one you spend most time with, who usually helps you when you need, whom you can talk to, etc… Sometimes, though, you might not be able to tell who your best friend is… And if you’re thinking about that one-in-a-lifetime best friend, you might not have met that person yet.”
Well, just stay around, you could find it. At some point.
S.L. “My best friend is my sister, Brenda. I met her when she was born. She is cute and mischievous in her manner, which is a reflection of her wits. I enjoy being around her as she is very playful and non-judgmental. We share many jokes together. When I was young, I used to bully her, as I was jealous of her. But now, we are best friends. We can count on each other to keep secrets and do odd things that I would be shy to do with other people. For example, I have committed to scratch her head when her scalp is itchy. I enjoy doing that for her, among other things, while she prefer my hand to her hand in scratching. ”
Thanks for sharing that scratching thing, that was funny but enlightening too.
C.O. “Hello again:) I don’t have a best friend presently, I used to have one when I was a student, but she left for Canada and I talk to her only once a year or even at lengthier spans of time. In a way, my husband is my best friend although I don’t talk to him like with a friend… I totally miss a best friend; to meet with myself now I have a coach – I enjoy his presence and the interest with which he listens to me – when I think though that at the end of an hour I have to pay him, which is quite natural, it seems a bit sad. For me it is difficult to make even good friends with the lack of time and the focus on family and work… And it seems the same for everybody I see around – there are moments when you really meet the other and there is a feeling of rejoice, but they are rather fleeting and inconsistent.”
Patience and acceptance seem to be two things that may ease the path towards finding a best friend for you. Valuing what you have now, the connection with your husband, may also help.
C.P. “My best friend is called Soledad, I met her almost 30 years ago in youth leadership training.
We are geographically separated over 20 years now, but this has not stop our friendship growing, every time we see each other is like we just saw each other a week ago!
Soledad was my first role model of an independent, committed single professional woman, and in many ways I am a result of her influence in me today.
She is certainly very intelligent, but a earthly soul, connected between her heart and her main, and her passion is something more like an internal inner strength which I still admire freshly in my mind.”
Wow, a friendship going back 30 years! Congrats! That’s rare.
Here’s my answer to this question.
My best friend is someone I discovered last year. And my best friend is a “she”. I won’t give her name, because it’s not relevant, but I will reveal that we do a lot of stuff together, one of them being the tango teaching stuff.
A couple of years ago I realised I have a major “leak” in my social system. I didn’t have any female friends. Like, you know, female persons with whom I can share things, stories, experiences and still feel comfortable. And that without having a romantic relationship, without functioning as a couple. The female presences in my life were either business associates, or life partners. Like in exclusive life partners.
So, I set up the intention to change this. I wanted to experience friendship with a woman, without the entanglement of a “serious”, committed relationship. And, eventually, I made it.
There isn’t enough space here to describe the entire journey from setting the intention to actually stoping that “leak” in my social system. It was a challenging one, with a lot of setbacks and confusions. For all the persons involved. But, as of today, I can identify a real person as being my best friend and that’s awesome. And the good news is that, based on this experience, now I can relate much easier on the friendship level entirely. As a matter of fact, I do have now a lot more friends that I used to have 5 years ago.
If you want to be a part of this 33 days challenge, and receive the next 31 questions, all you have to do is to sign up here. It takes only a minute.
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.