Love the imagery of hitting walls! I agree that a healthy relationship should be balanced. I think that there is some middle ground. It is not wrong to help someone break through a wall. Helping as a loving partner is no problem, but he/she needs to take the sledgehammer and break that wall. Helping instead of solving the problem keeps the balance healthy and might even make it stronger.
.-= Martijn´s last blog ..The Blogroll – How we wrecked the ocean =-.

I think it’s really important to allow people to make their own mistakes. We want to help those we love not go through the trials and tribulations that we did and would hope that they would listen to our wisdom, but ultimately you can’t live anyone else’s life. They have to learn their own lessons from the universe.

I also believe that it’s really easy to fall into the stereotypical roles in relationships, but perhaps you were unconsciously giving out the care-giver or therapist vibe to your gf while she was giving out the take-care-of-me vibe that attracted you subconsciously. It’s something to think about particularly if one seems to attract the same type of person into their lives.

Also, there’s nothing wrong with being the ‘therapist’ role in any relationship if that’s what floats your boat. If it doesn’t, then either work on your relationship or change yourself. You can’t change the other person. You need to let the other person go so that they can find someone else who will happily fulfill that role. You also need to free yourself to seek someone else.

Karen
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Five Ways To Add Connection To Your Life =-.

I’ve been through almost an identical relationship experience with an ex gf where Is started to feel like a therapist more than a boyfriend. That’ s a really dangerous place to be, but I think it was a necessary learning experience. Hitting those walls can be some of the things that make us grow more than we ever have. Thanks for sharing this,.

I think it’s great that you encourage people to be more autonomous. I notice that a lot of relationships take a weird dynamic in which one person is the victim, the other is the savior. I constantly tend to play the savior, since I seem to be good at it, but I try to catch myself and stop if it’s not the best thing for me to do. Most people don’t need to be saved. They need to save themselves.

I agree, hitting your own walls is your right; that’s how you get valuable experience after all. I also believe that getting rid of problems is not how you improve life. A better quality of problems gives you a richer life.

It’s sometimes hard to face your own challenges, even if they give you the biggest growth.

cheers
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