You know the line: “Bond. James Bond”? I’m sure you know it. Well, that’s how you should read the title above. That’s the vibe: classy, but extremely effective, and deadly if you’re on the wrong side of it.
The James Bond Approach At Setting Boundaries.
If our life would be a country, its borders will be these boundaries. And if you keep retracing, getting back, surrendering, eventually the borders will be so small you wouldn’t call that a sovereign country anymore. If you keep shrinking your vital territory you get to a level that’s simply unsustainable. You will become an occupied country.
Introducing the James Bond approach at setting boundaries. Let’s keep it short, simple, and classy.
1. Be Upfront
Let them know you’re setting boundaries. Be as outspoken and upfront as James Bond on a conversation with a villain. Yeah, this is me and these are my limits. Don’t cross them, that’s all. Don’t exagerate or step over their toes, but be firm.
There’s a certain power in being honest about what you can, and what you can’t take from someone. Especially in the beginning of the relationship. It’s like creating a mark, a rappel at which you can get back if things get foggy later on. Remember? I told you we shouldn’t cross that line.
2. Be Consistent
Keep your word and manage your territory. If you already said a certain line shouldn’t be crossed, then don’t allow the other party to cross it. Don’t let this happen. Whatever it takes, keep your ground.
It’s normal in the beginning of a relationship to try and advance, to test the other part. It’s a very natural dance, in which partners get to know each other. It’s fundamental, though, to dance this dance in a consistent way, so your partner know what to expect. They may try to force a different step, every once in a while, just don’t follow that move. As simple as that.
3. Try To Keep Some Class
If things go south, then break it. But keep it classy. Emotional blackmail, elusive tactics, manipulation, these are not James Bond territory. Of course, he may see it in others and dodge them when directed at him, but he never uses them. Be like Bond in this one.
Even the most promising partnership can get to a halt. Happens. Move forward but do it in an elegant way. Not for your external image, although this, in time, may add an aura to your reputation, but for yourself. The real gain in walking away from a bad partnership is that you avoided occupation, kept your integrity and lived to dance another dance. No need to make the other one feel puny, or guilty.