Diapers versus Banners

This evening, while I was preparing Bianca, my one year old daughter, for sleep, I surprised myself responding to my wife, when asked if I would be in the main room in two minutes: “Just a second, I misplaced the banner on Bianca, I have to put it on again…” It was about diapers, not banners, of course, but then I realised how deep I am into my job assignment goals…

It was a little frightening to discover that, but since I would be ready in less than 2 weeks with this project (the launch is scheduled for 21st May) I took it easy on myself. After all, coding 8 to 10 hours a day, testing, refactoring, optimizing and managing the real-life logistic at the same time (making sure all the clients will be notified about the change, the user accounts will be safely transferred, and so on) it’s not an easy task. It’s hard work. Of course, I would expect great results, but for now it’s just hard work.

So, just for the fun of it, I indulged myself with several other contexts in which my regular answers are replaced by coding-world messages. Here’s a basic list I compiled in about 10 minutes:

• Bianca, don’t play with the washing machine buttons! => The website is taking too long to respond
• Diana (my wife): “Dragos, did you buy me beginner signs for the car?” (She just had her driver license several weeks ago, and she really wants others to notice that she is a beginner) => Memory exhausted at line 0, 2 kilobytes needed out of 1 kilobyte assigned to domestic tasks
• Diana: “So, we are going to the park. are you joining us?” => Wrong parameters count for function getOut(), $dragos is undefined
• Diana: “Dragos, did you clean up the car today? => A PHP error occured in your application, severity: WARNING!
• Bianca, do you want to go to sleep? (she’s one year old, remember?) => function goToSleep() is not a member of the class $bianca
• Bianca, please tell to aunt Angie some of the poetry you already know, although you are just one year old! => Parse error at line 1
• Diana: “Let’s go to a movie tonight!” => Max connection number: 1, reached for user $diana, try raising the connections to this requester
• Bianca, where’s my shaving cream spray? => Unable to load file $shaving_cream_spray, searched path: “./:/bedroom:/hallway:/kitchen:/car:/even neighbours”

So, I still think these are just jokes, not the beginning of a beautiful friendship with an imaginary pal that talks in variables, uses functions to lose weight, creates libraries when it’s bored and it’s easy to debug ;-). The future will tell us.