A while ago, “fake it till you make it” wasn’t a very popular topic. In the last decade, though, it became some sort of a mainstream avenue for many young (and not so young, either) aspiring entrepreneurs. Even more, it pervaded the social fabric, and “fake it till you make it” applies not only to business, but also to relationships, or pretty much any activity that can end with success or failure.
How Does This Work, Anyway?
Well, it’s easy.
If you want to be successful, act like you already are. Behave like a successful person, and if success implies having a lot of money, act like you already have a lot of money. Display wealth, abundance and luxury. Even if, or especially if, you’re broke. Eventually, they say, you will make it and you will become a rich person.
Or, in relationships, if you want to have the perfect relationship, show yourself up like you already are in the perfect relationship. Dress like you’re the perfect woman or man, act like you’re the perfect catch. Hide any imperfection, conceal anything strange about you. This appearance, they say, will eventually attract your perfect mate.
The main idea is that you will have to fake the outcome, until you will somehow generate it. Or “attract” it. Or whatever fancy verb they’re using when they teach this.
Why This Doesn’t Actually Work In Business
If you really take the time to dig into this, you will soon realize this is a very thin approach.
For instance, in business, success is defined in a very formalized, standard way. A lot of money. Perhaps a lot of nice properties and cars. You know, the average expectation of any human being.
The key word here being “average”.
And the moment you realize that the success you’re faking it, is, in fact, an average, you’ll face the unavoidable: that market for averages is so freaking crowded. Purely from a business point of view, if you want the standard product, you will have to play in a huge, overcrowded market.
Because “everybody” wants the same thing, you will have to compete with literally “everybody”. Mathematically speaking, your chances are really thin.
Why This Actually Doesn’t Work, Period
I started with the example in business, because that’s easier to understand, but there’s another, way simpler reason for which this doesn’t work. And that’s the fact that you’ll have to maintain two different personas: the authentic you, and the performer. Because that’s what faking is, just a performance. You’re playing the role of someone you’re not.
In the end, this will drain you up. Even more, it will slowly take out all your creativity, any original and surprising outcome you may come up with, and turn you into a dull mannequin.
Yes, maybe you’re a weirdo and you’re afraid that your potential partner may see that about you. But you can’t hide this forever. At some point, tired, or bored, you will let down your guard and he/she will see it anyway. Even if you can hide it until that beautiful wedding on the beach (the climax of any “perfect” relationship goal), it will hit back soon enough.
And maybe, just maybe, there is another weirdo out there who’s not afraid of showing it, who’s even embracing his/her own weirdness, and who’s gonna be the right person for you.
If you keep acting like you’re someone else, you’ll never be seen, or found.