Last week Bia, my daughter, caught chickenpox. And, because of that, she had to stay in isolation for a week. So, here I am, spending a whole day, mid-week, at home, watching movies, cooking and trying to make her stay as comfortable as possible. And mine as well.
At some point, she looks at my hands and she kinda asks / says:
– So, your hands have this trembling, right?
– Right, I say, I had this since I was a kid.
And it’s true. My hands are shaking, not too much, not too visible and, if I really want, I can control that. Sometimes, when I get caught in the action, maybe my hands are shaking a bit more. When I was a kid, my mom tried to find out why I had this. We went to quite a few doctors, but none of them really “cured” it. They say it was calcium, but when they tested me, I was fine. They also thought it was something psychological, but that didn’t stay true as well. As I grew up, I learned how to live with it. As I said, it’s not something really handicapping. It’s very rare to be asked about it. I guess most people think I just had too much to drink last night. Or I had too much caffeine. Whatever.
– Right, I say to Bianca again, I had this since I was a kid and I never knew why I really had this.
And there she goes, blowing my entire world in just one tiny sentence:
– Well, maybe it’s because you have some kind of superpowers.
Took me a few good seconds to recover after I heard this. And then a few minutes to think about it. And then I finally decided to write about it.
Yes, maybe it’s because I have some kind of superpowers. Like too much energy trying to find an outlet. Or like getting in tune with a superior intelligence, at a different vibration. Superpowers, you know.
It’s fabulous how kids are finding the best part in everything, even in the strangest things, while us, adults, tend to see every deviation from the course as a “disease”. I do think that the “master plan”, the one that delivers us into this world, is based on a solid blueprint. Like when we come here, we have a good software. We’re clean. But as we mingle and mix, as we try and fall and succeed, as we gain and as we lose, the software gets screwed.
And I suspect the place where it gets screwed is in the “let’s hang on to this part over and over again”. We found something we like? Let’s stick to it no matter how much we screw other stuff. We found a house we love? Let’s do whatever we can, let’s ruin our health working, let’s steal if we run out of money, just to keep that house. Or, we found a relationship that feels good? Let’s do whatever we can to hang on to that person, no matter if she or he wants the relationship anymore. It’s the attachment, you know. The part that wants to hold on to things. That’s what screws up the software.
Because when we find “something we like” and we have a hard time letting it go, we perceive everything around like a threat. We found a place of comfort and this place is suddenly surrounded by a sphere of pressure. Everything that will change the status quo will deprive us from what we crave so deeply. And that creates the concept of “disease”. That creates the perspective that sees the “disease”. And we work so hard just to keep the status quo.
But kids don’t hang on to stuff. If they find something they like and that something goes away, or it’s consumed and it’s not available anymore, they just move forward. They try to find something else. They continue the journey. Of course, some of them are not doing this. They cry and they blackmail us emotionally and they get into tantrums, but that’s because their software was already screwed up. They already got the virus. From who? You guessed: from us.
So, it took me almost 40 years to realize I have a superpower. Next time you see my hands shaking, don’t you ever dare to think I had to much to drink last night, or too much caffeine. It’s not because of that.
It’s because I have a superpower so powerful that my body can barely hold it.