Do you like getting freebies? Gratuitous stuff? Free lunch, maybe? Well, I don’t.
I’ve always been like this, I have quite a repulsion towards free stuff. I become reluctant, I start to question myself, I back up. Although one may think that avoiding free stuff made for quite a difficult path for me so far (with the overwhelming stream of opportunities around), I will have to tell you the exact opposite. Avoiding free stuff made me far more wealthy and self confident than the average.
You know that old saying “there is no such thing as a free lunch”? Well, it’s still quite accurate.
Everything you do requires energy. Everything you receive was made with energy. Everything around you, including yourself, is a form of energy. And every time you start an interaction, you are initiating in fact an energetic exchange. Every form of communication is an energetic exchange.
Have you ever had a relaxing conversations with somebody else? Have you ever had a deep bonding with close, dear friends? Ever had a sense of exhilaration after closing a big business deal, a sale or just getting a promotion? All of these are successful energetic exchanges.
In each successful interaction our energy exchange is balanced, instant and beneficial. Balanced, instant and beneficial. Let’s take a closer look at this.
If we give more or less energy than it’s required, our energetic exchange is imbalanced. If we’re talking, for instance, and we give more energy than required, the other part may step back, ending the process. Or we find ourselves fighting instead of talking, opening our energy valves beyond control. Or we can find ourselves not responding in kind to other’s verbal flow, putting a lot less energy than required in the process. Whatever the cause, putting more or less energy than necessary, will make the interaction fail. This is an unbalanced energetic exchange.
If the response of our energetic exchange is delayed, we feel insecure. If we’re having an intimate relationship and the response to our interaction – making a gift to someone, for instance – is coming several hours later, we start asking why this is happening. Even if the response is positive, we start asking why we’re getting our response so late? Is something wrong with us? With the other one? With both? We feel insecure, and that’s because the energetic exchange was not instant, it was delayed. Most successful energetic exchanges are in the moment.
And if the energetic exchange was not mutually beneficial, we feel frustrated. If you close a deal under pressure, giving away some of your benefits, you feel frustrated. If you laugh and the other one cries, you feel frustrated. If you didn’t receive as much as you want from a conversation, you feel frustrated. That’s because the exchange wasn’t mutually beneficial, only one part of the exchange was favored. Most of our energy exchanges are not mutually beneficial, it’s always some part that will take a little more than we expect.
But despite these conditions, balanced, instant and beneficial energy exchanges are always possible.
The Free Stuff Trap
What’s happening when somebody comes to you and makes an offer for something “for free”?
First of all, you know from the beginning that this won’t be a balanced energetic exchange. Somebody will give more energy than required, allegedly the part with the “free stuff”. The making of that stuff required energy and if you won’t give back some energy too there will be an imbalance.
Second, you don’t really know if you want that now. They’re giving that stuff out of nowhere, without checking with you first. Maybe you wanted this before, or maybe there’s a chance for you to want it in the future. Whatever the time, it will not be in the present. The energy exchange won’t be instant.
And finally, if there’s only one person to benefit from that free thing, the exchange won’t be mutually beneficial. One part will be really disempowered by the exchange, again, that part allegedly being the one with the free offer. And that will lead to frustration, sooner or later.
Then why you get all the time “free stuff” offers? Why is this “free stuff” almost an icon of our modern society? Why this unconscious race for getting stuff for free? Because behind the “free stuff” there’s a trap. The free stuff is not free at all. It’s disguised.
The real trap of the free stuff is that there is a hidden part in the deal. There is always a hidden part in the deal. And that part is disguised in something apparently free. If you take on a “free stuff”, you will commit yourself to a future energy exchange. Most of the time, without even knowing it.
Why Free Stuff Is Never Free Stuff
The vast majority of “free stuff” exchanges are based on manipulation. The “free” in the “stuff” is the bite. The “stuff” is the hook. And you are the prey. Almost every free thing offered is geared towards a much bigger, intense and longer energy exchange from your part, than the energy it offers in the beginning.
And for that, any “free stuff” is a hoax. This is why I am always questioning every free offer, why I’m reluctant and why I step back. I look for the hidden part.
The endless energy field in which we are all living must be balanced. Any interaction will attract a reaction. Any energy exchange must be equally shared, otherwise there will be imbalance, confusion and frustration. Anything that is disguised as “free” is in fact something that will require a lot more from you in the future in order to level up the energy field. Don’t fall for this.
Don’t fall for the “getting rich quick” schemes, which are in fact specific declinations of the “free stuff” approach. You will never get rich quicker than you can understand richness. Having a sudden big amount of money will give you much more problems than satisfactions. Not to mention that getting rich quick will waive out all the fun in the journey.
Close your energy valves every time you see something for “free”. Look for the hidden part. Look for what they are asking to trade in exchange for that “free” offer. If you are ok with that, go ahead, but do it consciously. Don’t open your doors to the salesmen of the “free stuff” without knowing it. It’s ok to accept a “free deal” as long as you know it’s not free, and you’re committing for future actions.
Why Do You Want Free Stuff?
Because you want to preserve your energy, Most of the people have a strong tendency to keep their energy to themselves. Much of this tendency is rooted in fear: fear of loss, most of the time.
If you don’t have any fear whatsoever, anything that is “free” will look strange to you, not appealing. If you would know that you can’t really lose something, getting something for “free” will look fishy. If you are already balanced and sharp, getting involved in a “free” offer will not attract you anymore.
The fear of loss is the fuel of “free stuff”.
Yes, there is an exception to it, but as always, it’s an exception only at the surface. There are situations in which you are entitled to receive “free stuff” from time to time, but the “free” will only “look” free. Because, in fact, the energetic exchange has already been made. You already paid for that, one way or another.
I met persons who apparently had a gift for receiving gifts. They were receiving gifts out of the blue, they were entitled to free seats at events, to free meals, to free drinks. They were receiving a lot of nice words, tons of appreciation signs and usually they had a very easy time with attracting money. Sticking to our model, those persons were not having a balanced, instant and beneficial energetic exchange. But as I observed them longer, I started to realize that the energy exchange was already made.
They were actually the initiators. They already started to give something around (many times without even noticing). They were giving a sense of comfort, balance or tenderness. They were usually lovely persons to have around. Or, they were extremely skilled an experienced persons which were in fact transferring their knowledge on a regular basis. Teachers, masters or highly intuitive consultants. Beautiful people spreading harmony around, dancers, actors or powerful managers. Those persons are energy emitters. They are already broadcasting energy, only you don’t realize how. Until something in the picture is drawn towards them in order to balance the exchange.
Giving away something you have in excess without waiting for nothing in return will usually trigger a free stuff offer. Helping others without asking for nothing, out of pure generosity and sense of oneness will usually spark something back to you. The energy field must remain stable. You will activate an exchange and you will get something back. It will be balanced, instant and beneficial. Maybe you won’t be able to sense it, but somewhere in this known universe, somehow, giving out your talents will activate an energy exchange in your favor.
It’s the only way I accept getting something “for free”.
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.