I know I already sketched the most important things I did in 2012, but, following the tradition on this post I’ll do an aftermath too. Technically, this post is written in the last hours of 2012, but I decided to publish it in the very first hour of 2013, for beauty reasons. It just looks better this way.
Bird Eye View
2012 was a year of subtle, slow but powerful personal transformation. It started very slow, but then it picked up fast and it continued at an increased pace. Among the things that started kinda slow are tango (yes, it’s crucially important, you’ll see later why), running and business.
Speaking of tango, I started to learn it in February. In May I attended my first milonga and then, the New Year party was a tango party. That’s right, I finished 2012 at a milonga. During this time I met a lot of people and I even supported the publishing of the first Romanian Tango Manual. But the most important benefits are outlined below, under the connection paradox.
In running, I also started slow: in April / May I was running on a sport terrain, in circles, and then in September I attended my first official running competition. And, finally, in October I finished my first marathon, and that’s something that will stay with me from now on no matter what.
All these are very important milestones but, from where I stand right now, the most important thing of 2012 is that I managed to finish the year with no unfinished business. And I mean both personal and business. All that I wanted to do in business was pretty much done (we’ll see down the road that I did way more than I wanted). And on the personal level, I straightened up every loose bit and I’m really, really happy about it. Wasn’t easy, but it’s done.
Year To Year Impact
Last year I stopped carrying about my public image. Or, to be precise, I made peace with the fact that I can’t influence it at all.
In a very interesting turn of events, the mere fact of accepting the unacceptable created something incredibly powerful: this year I had more public appearances and speaking than in the last 3 years combined. I even had to turn down a few invitations, either for logistical reasons, or because I was really too tired to attend.
The lesson: once you really process your inner stuff, once you get rid of your attachments and accept whatever life puts on your plate, everything turns out great. Sometimes so great that you can even have difficulties coping with it.
The goal: do the same in my personal life and be prepared to be overwhelmed with meaningful and powerful personal relationships in 2013.
The Connection Paradox
2012 was also the year of connection, and the cornerstone of this change was, of course, learning tango. If you don’t know that already, tango, as opposed to any other dance, is fundamentally about connection and improvisation, not about rehearsed steps. It takes two to tango, goes the saying, and it goes like this for a reason. Needless to say that because of this implied connection I met and connected with an incredible amount of people. With some of them I started small business relationships, with some of them friendships and even had a brief romance.
The connection paradox is that the “connecting pipe” never dries out. The more you get into connections, the more interactions you have, the more you receive. You never get tired, on the contrary. It gets a little bit counterintuitive, because, if you open too much, you may think that eventually you’ll run out of fuel, you’ll be drained out, emptied. Well, I don’t know why, but what really happens when you connect correctly is that you get more and more powerful.
There’s a trick though: the connection MUST be truthful. If its not, then you’ll eventually be dried out. And by truthful I mean no lies, no hidden meanings, no pretending, no forced politeness (which is the most widely accepted lie, by the way).
So, in order to keep my connections truthful I had to slash out all the pretending from some pretty important personal relationships. I admit that most of the time I did it ruthlessly, but honesty is ruthless. Some of these connections went from one hundred percent interaction to basically zero, after the slashing, while some were only left at a casual level.
In all the cases, what’s left is true and that’s empowering.
What About 2013?
Again, I have no idea. No expectations either. I will continue my journey in the same direction, be ready to take aboard any meaningful partners, if any, listen to the signs and do whatever needs to be done in order to stay true to myself and to the ones around me.
I do expect my personal growth to continue on the business level and I already have 2 major projects started out. On the personal level, I’ll just stay put and see what happens. And, to be honest, I think 2013 will be the year of the travel. I just had a little birdie whispering that to my left ear. 😉
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.