If you have really high goals, chance are that you had to improve your self discipline at some point. You had to streamline your daily routine, to improve your skills, to become more effective, to achieve more in less time or with less energy. Although one of the most expensive tools in your personal development tool box, self discipline is by far the most useful. In today’s post I’ll talk about my experience with self discipline.
What Is Self Discipline?
In short, self discipline is the ability to follow a specific goal regardless of current environment. If you would live in a perfect world, everything you want would be achieved instantly and effortlessly. But if you’re reading this post you don’t live in a perfect world. You live in the same world I live, a world in which things are falling short sometimes, in which priorities overlap, in which your energy seems always to be under the required level. Like it or not, this is the world we live in. This is our environment. And self-discipline is the ability to overcome any setbacks your environment can place between you and your goals.
Building Self Discipline
Creating self discipline is a tedious task. Because self discipline is more than a habit, it’s an intrinsic quality of your being. You can’t “learn self discipline” in one area of your life and then apply it exactly in other areas. And still expect it to work. It simply doesn’t work that way. You’re creating a habit, at best, not self discipline. For instance, if you’re a blogger, you can’t create self discipline in your writing, and apply the same pattern to your physical activities. It’s much more than that.
What you can do, is to develop a certain approach which gives you the ability to tackle any task in any given context. Self discipline is more of a lifestyle than an atomic activity. Is more like a personal attitude towards life than just a technique you can put on autopilot and then just watch the results.
During the years, I had my share of struggle with self discipline. I wasn’t a very disciplined guy, mostly because I always had this thing with authority. I mean challenging authority figures. Among other stuff, this was one of the reasons I ended up being my own boss. But besides that, I always had this challenging attitude towards what I felt like imposed tasks. And that certainly didn’t make things easier for me when I had to follow long term goals.
But at some point I succeeded. I had a business for 10 years and believe me, you do need a hell of a lot of discipline to keep an online business working for 10 years. If you’re reading this blog you may know that I’ve been on a raw food diet for more than 9 months. I also imposed to myself and successfully implemented a posting speed on this blog, which is live for more than 9 months. And as I write this, I am on a 30 days exercising challenge. These are pretty distinct goals: business, health, writing and fitness. But I made them happen.
Creating self discipline, in my experience, requires only 5 things: clear goals, incentives, assessment, interference management and opportunism. Let’s take those things one at a time.
Clear Goals
If you don’t know where you’re heading, you can’t go faster. That’s a fact. Keeping clear goals is fundamental for building self discipline. Make those goals crystal sharp and then stick with them. One of the most common pitfalls in maintaining a self-discipline is losing sight of what you’re doing. It happens more often than you think. At some point you become so involved in reaching that goal that you can’t seem to remember which goal was in the first place.
There is also another very important reason for having clear defined goals: each goal needs specific actions. You would act in a certain way if you’re trying to improve your health (by embracing a raw food diet, for instance) and completely different if you’re going to improve your writing. You will implement different strategies for different objectives. Self discipline will help you strengthen your overall strategy, but if you’re choosing the wrong one, you won’t get results. And if you don’t get results, you’re going to quit.
Incentives
Creating self discipline requires rewards. Little payments down the road, in order to keep you motivated. I do think rewards are necessary during the process, although they are not the main objective. The main goal is to create a swiss army knife tool that you can apply constantly in every area of your life, regardless of the specific actions needed or of the specific context. And if some rewards will speed up the process, why not? It surely works for me.
Most of the time, those rewards will come in the simple form of progress assessment (more on assessment in a moment) like looking at what you’ve done so far and feeling good about it. When I started the raw food diet I monitored my weight. In two months I lost about 7 kilos. Well, I allowed myself to be happy about that. It was like Dumbo’s magic feather: kept me flying. Of course, the main goal wasn’t weight loss, it just made me go further.
Progress Assessment
Self discipline needs adjustment. You can’t expect anything to go perfect from the first time. So, in order to see if things are going in the right direction, you need to assess your progress. Constant feedback is another fundamental ingredient for building self-discipline. You may find yourself too active on a very easy situation, or under acting on a very difficult one. For each of these situations you will need some form of adjustment. And those adjustments will create little by little that attitude you call self discipline.
Also, regardless of the specific goal you’re trying to reach, when you’re starting to develop self discipline, don’t expect to have result fast, just watch the progress. Keep a journal, write things on your room walls, put iPhone reminders, send yourself emails, whatever works for you. For instance, when I decided to implement a posting speed on my blog I also created a blog audit wordpress plugin which helped me track the progress.
Ignoring Interferences
If you’re heading for the right goal, with the proper incentives and you’re making good progress, chances are that you’re going to be distracted soon. I think it’s just human nature: every time we seem to reach a certain momentum we tend to lose it the very next second. I call those situations interferences. Every time you are attracted by something else than your main goal, you’re allowing some interference to play with your energy field.
Those interferences are not necessarily pleasant. You can also get unpleasant interferences if you’re on a fluctuating context. For instance, some old, unfinished tasks will strongly require your attention, or some job superior will try to impose a disruptive attitude on you. Those interferences will break your flow and put some more distance between your and your goals. Pleasant or not, you got to learn how to ignore those interferences for good. Set course for your goal and stay there.
Opportunism
Have you ever been struck with luck? When trying to reach a specific goal, I mean? Some unexpected help coming from an unexpected person? Some situation change which created an advantage for you? Well, that sort of things just happens. I won’t go into details about how you attracted those things, but I’ll tell you that I am very fond of these situations. I mean, every time I feel these “hidden” help hands, I reach out.
Implementing self discipline means taking advantage of everything useful around you. If there’s some luck around, go for it, it will make things better. If there’s some help coming from somebody, receive it, don’t reject it just because “I have to do it, by myself”. Sometimes the Universe is just lending us a helping hand. Even – or even more – when we’re trying to implement something as difficult as self discipline.
***
In the end, the real reward is not achieving your goal. But stretching your limits. Further and further. It’s not about having or getting more (like more money, more stuff, etc) but about the experience of different things. It’s all about enjoying more dimensions of yourself and of the world.
You could definitely see your expertise in the paintings you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.
thiz is really healpful for me
Hi,
I happen to chance upon your blog. This is a very inspiring article written. I just move on to a new role in a new company. My confidence waver as I seems to be lost in the new environment. Fell sick along the way too.
Your article gave me strength and direction again again.
Thank you
J.Tan
What an eye-opener for a type like myself who finds discipline, though not a four-letter word, a stifling practice for creativity and often an unreachable goal. But your spin on what makes us not succeed is interesting and well-thought out.
Your approach reminds me of the little bestseller “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson. Our everyday lives get so polluted with interruptions, yet these pauses can also be the juice that fuels us to reach important goals. The only difficult part is teasing out which ones are positive and which are negative. You seem to have a good grasp on how to move the engine forward without stuck in life’s potholes which clog the way to achieve aspired goals. This is the first time that I’ve read your blog. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hi Henri,
haha. my word phrase for the capcha was “a better life” did you do that or maybe its another synchronicity?
Well, this post was what I needed. I think I needed reminded that building self-discipline is a lifestyle. So often I start out well and then I forget sometimes what was first because I take on a lot.. so I need to focus more on small things consistently in the new year. and be diligent about them. This topic was very helpful! I love what you shared here also in that self-discipline requires adjustment. I think for perfectionists it is essential that we are being realistic with ourselves and readjusting… also often I’ll push a little too hard with expectations and then not reward myself with the incentive.. for awhile longer when it suits.. so that’s not cool either.. working out these wrinkles into 2010! 🙂 i appreciate your posts and sharing networks! 🙂 ~Jenn
.-= Jenn Z´s last blog ..Aww.. The Beauty of a New Year Threshold =-.
Insightful post – only challenge is : sustaining self discipline for longer periods….
.-= techzen´s last blog ..mist =-.
Building Self Discipline was one thing I could not do when I was 18. In university I was good at chasing girls and drinking beer, but not too good at attending classes. Part of the problem was my great memory – I could skip classes and just read the books to get passing grades. All I wanted was passing grades, no concern about putting the effort in to get an A.
So, on my 19th birthday I woke up and my roommates sister asked what I was going to do to celebrate and I told her I was joining the Marine Corps.
Shock among the friends and family, why in the world would a guy as smart as me join the Marine Corps. Well, I joined the Marine Corps to get self discipline. I figured that if I had no self discipline, I could have it forced on my by the Corps, it it worked.
.-= McLaughlin´s last blog ..Using LinkedIn to Drive Traffic to Your Blog =-.
I found myself when I started reading through this just wanting to disagree with you and argue how you can universally apply self discipline but I won’t do that now, as your article put this concept into context VERY well and congratulations, you just changed the way I think about something. That doesn’t happen everyday. I have to think on this some more now…
.-= Mike King´s last blog ..100 Ways to Simplify Your Life and Mind =-.
Hi Dragos, you’ve hit on a real interesting topic here. I’ve noticed that self-discipline is a quality that doesn’t necessarily have much crossover. A person can be very disciplined in one aspect of life, and very undisciplined in others. After years of observing this phenomenon, I’ve concluded that passion has a strong influence on self-discipline. For example, if someone has a passion for physical fitness, watching their diet is not that difficult. On the other hand, if they have a strong passion for food, well, it usually shows. Learning to control our emotional anchors can have a positive affect on our ability to manifest self-discipline.
.-= Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..How to Turn Dreams into Reality =-.
very cool article. I find self disciple is one of the traits, a person has to continually work on. It becomes easier, until there is a new temptations or experiences to distract us in some ways.
It boils down to what is of importance and ethical.
I am not a materialistic person but found a sale on Adidas on-line. This is my weakness one of them anyways. I hate shopping but this new challenge you have going – lol- OK I cant blame you.
.-= BunnygotBlog´s last blog ..Working From Home: Coffee – Tea – Or Me =-.
This is an inspiring article. I really like the part about giving ourselves incentives. My husband is better at that than I am, but I’m learning from him. He also is good at having both short term and long term goals and incentives. I’ve been using Jonathan Well’s advice and have stopped multi-tasking and find that I have much MORE focus and discipline. I’m very self-motivated and have GREAT follow through, but was getting very drained multi-tasking. Now that I focus on one task at a time I’ve noted I feel much calmer and it is far easier to discipline myself. I think because I have only one thing at a time in front of me. —Thank you Dragos for a great read. :)) But then it always it.
.-= Robin Easton´s last blog ..Can You Slow Down? =-.
Dragos, I found a lot to like in this article. Sometimes I struggle with self-control and self-discipline. I think all of your ideas help but I think the idea about incentives is one most people miss. Rewarding yourself in any number of ways that cost you nothing is a great way to keep yourself focused and motivated.
.-= Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Accepting What Is Does Not Mean Giving Up =-.
Nice post, helps me out after I wrote my last blog post. thanks
Thanks for the post Dragos, being naturally disorganized person, self discipline is something I have to work on a lot. Ignoring intreferences is especially hard:) but I am working on it.
.-= Lana-DreamFollowers Blog´s last blog ..Ask And It Is Given – Do You Truly Understand What That Means? =-.
Hey, Lana
I know the feeling, I’m working hard with those interferences and I really had to implement some harsh measures lately. But I had to 🙂
Dragos, this is a really useful post. I have struggled with self discipline and took the harder option of leaving everything to last minute. Self discipline is hard at first but once you get going it works out for you and actually makes your life easier.
You’ve done great over the last year that I’ve known you as a blogger and you really are an inspiration to me and your other readers.
.-= Steven Aitchison´s last blog ..37 Ways to communicate better with your children =-.
Thanks for the nice words, Steven, your support and constant encouragement is certainly playing a big part here 🙂