I’m writing this post under quite a pressure. This is coming from my personal life, where apparently we reached a point when things must be changed. It was never a totally transparent personal life, there were always some closed windows, and I never wanted to look through those windows. I totally believed that those windows were closed for good. I assumed that everything was exactly as shown, no hidden windows, but apparently I was wrong. Whatever must come out of this, it should be for the better. It’s a crossroad I must solve.
I won’t go into further details about that. I don’t think that my personal life is worthy enough for public exposure, and even if I would, I won’t make it public out of shyness. Or decency, call it what you want.
What I would do though, it’s to continue my chosen path in regard with this blog. I established a schedule and I intend to keep it as much as I can, even under stressful events. Maybe some of you will think that this is strange, and I should focus on solving those problems first, and then work on this blog again. While I totally agree with the fact that I should solve those problems, I don’t think that I should focus only on that and let other parts of the mechanism to fall apart.
I think that we’re made of different commitments and that every commitment, being personal, social or business, must be fulfilled. If there is unbalance in one category, keeping the other categories working is a must in order to keep the machine working. Otherwise the machine will stop for good, and everything will be lost. It’s hard to do it, don’t get me wrong, the pressure I have right now is really hard to describe and I don’t wish for anybody to go through this. Anyway, to make a long story short, I might post smaller articles and not keep up with the intended pace, but I’ll do whatever it takes to keep my commitments.
It’s funny how the synchronicity in our life can manifest. Today I scheduled a blog post about “Personal Mission Statement”. I wrote earlier about the necessity of a personal mission statement, and today I’ll outline mine.
First of all, it took me several weeks to came up with this. I started the way I described in the other post and then refined continuously. I am quite satisfied now with what I came up, but I know that this is satisfactory only for now, life is a process, so your mission should be a process too. It might be adjusted later, but for now it works.
Let’s start with the full text, and then I’ll go into details:
To create, share and enjoy value for my personal growth as a human being for me and for all that will need that.
To maintain a healthy Production / Production Capacity balance.
To do this with my free will and to not break anyone freedom or free will.
To do this with love and compassion for me and for everybody.
Creativity / Integrity / Freedom / Love
The first part is the most common part for me. The capacity of creating value is something that defines me. I can do a lot of things, and I can create value. For me or for others. It’s always been like this, even when I was a businessman, and even before, when I was working as an anchor man in a FM radio. I was always focused on delivering high results.
But the first part of my personal mission statement was also the part which undergone the most revisions. The main reason was the third verb: “to enjoy”. The first two parts came to me naturally, without even thinking, but the part with “to enjoy” had to be squeezed in. To create and share is something that I do naturally, but the enjoying part is not. And I realized that this is one of the major obstacles in my life.
Whenever you create something and you don’t enjoy the benefits you’re rejecting your work. Not accepting what you created is like not accepting yourself, your life. And this is where I had most of the problems. Wrapped up in notions like “altruism”, “self-sacrifice” or other bullshit like this, I was constantly rejecting all the results of my work. Not really enjoying money, not really enjoying my free time, not really enjoying my freedom. Especially not really enjoying my freedom to experiment and to learn.
Needless to say that my emotional vibration of “self-restraint” attracted persons and situations in my life who reinforced it. I attracted persons that deeply and truly believed that my goal is to unconditionally support them. In all respects, material, emotional, financial. I was there to give and never to receive, and, most of all, to be blamed if something went wrong. Or if it was raining outside.
But no more of this. Making this verb, “to enjoy”, part of my personal mission completely changed the way I act and the way I feel. Not only I started to enjoy all the benefits of my created values, but I also changed the emotional vibration. I started to attract people who are ready to share or to treat me at least equally. I also started some turmoil in some of my older relationships, and those people are starting to feel like walking on thin ice. I’m not that silly and peaceful person waiting to be abused anymore. I changed somehow, and I’m ready to stand for what I do and I believe in. If that relation should die because of my decision, so be it. If that relation is going to be transformed in order to incorporate my new me, I’m ready to accept that either.
I often found myself beat up by working too hard. It was something like a red stripe all over my life. I always worked more, wanted more and achieved more than others, but I bet I felt a lot more wasted than them.
And here comes the Stephen Covey paradigm (yes, I know it comes from that book, no need to remind me): you should always keep a good balance between your production (what you do) and production capacity (who you are).
That is basically transformed into a healthier lifestyle. Basically. Because if you look deep under, there’s a lot more than that. Let’s take the example of changing my eating habits in the last four months. I become a raw foodist, and I totally enjoy the benefits. I can work more, I am healthier, and I am a lot more balanced, physically speaking. I also enjoy a clearer mind and I’m much more assertive.
But that habit involved much more than food. Changing the way you eat, in order to become healthier and have a better P/PC capacity it’s a huge thing. It actually challenges all the habits you had so far. After breathing, which is something that occurs more or less on autopilot, eating is the most internalized habit we have. This is why those billions of diets are floating out there, because it’s so hard and people are trying all the time. So, keep a healthy P/PC balance is a lot more complicated than it seems. But also it’s fantastically rewarding.
Nothing exists in slavery. Not a single tiny thing was created in the absence of liberty. Or if it was something going out was an expression of the oppression, sadness and emotional poverty that slavery can create, not an act of creation. Nothing really can be created in slavery. Whatever form that slavery may embrace.
It might be an unbalanced relationship, or it might be a substance dependency, like drug addiction. It might be a forced commitment to false values, or it might be a meaningless job you attend daily only to think at the week-end. All of these are just forms of slavery.
Avoiding slavery in all forms is part of my personal mission statement now. Being held in dishonest or unbalanced relationships is not something that I would pretty much want to avoid, but it’s a goal in itself. Why? Because I’ve been too much prisoner in my own backyard, so to speak. I created too much walls around me, all of them covered in good intentions, to make a bigger and nicer prison.
Freedom is the capacity to acknowledge yourself. To stand for what you want but to not break anybody free will. That is of equal importance. The slavery works both ways: the master is slave at the same degree as the real slave. Keeping others at your discretion is just another form of slavery. It might have some more material advantages but on the emotional and spiritual level it’s the same.
I’m ready to fail at all of the above, if I can have love into my life. If I can give and receive unconditional love. If I can be in love without any imposed condition or without any trade off. This is not part of a personal mission, you can’t make the pursuit of love part of your mission, but you can make it part of your life.
It’s not about creating value, although value is worthless without love. It’s not about having a healthy life, although love can heal anything. And it’s notÂ about freedom, because nobody can break love, even if they break freedom.
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.