7 Reasons To Enjoy Life More

Too often we forget why we’re here. Caught in an endless, empty race without a real prize, we run each day trying to fulfill our own expectations, other people’s expectations, or just simply blindly following rules we don’t understand. We forgot what is the real reason of our existence: to enjoy it. To breathe life every second and thrill with it. Here’s a list of 7 simple reasons to enjoy life even in the fastest, emptiest, dullest and mindless race we chose to run.

Beginnings

Every little thing we start is a creation. A miracle by itself. Think for a second: before we activate the Universe to make it happen, there is nothing there. Picture a cup of coffee in your mind. Before you pour the water, add the brown powder and put some heat on it, there is nothing there. Separated pieces of matter, drifting around in your environment, without any intention to glue them together. It was you who changed this and manifested a cup of coffee where there was nothing before.

I am a big fan of beginnings. I am addicted to them. Every time I start something, I enjoy my creative super powers. Because there’s no need to start big, in order to enjoy your creative super powers, all you need is to start. Size has nothing to do with beginnings: even the biggest journey started with only one step. That atomic action, that infinitesimal shift in the current texture of the Universe, this incredible small intention, that is a magical thing. Putting together separated pieces of your environment and transform them into something new, that is enchanting.

Beginnings are filling us with enthusiasm, passion and eagerness. Every time we start doing something, being it a cup of coffee or a new relationship, being it a walk in the park or circling around the word, we’re using our divine, immortal persona. Just make sure you realize that next time you’re making coffee.

People You Love

You may be sad, but when they are around, you’re happy. You may be struggling with financial difficulties, but when you think at them, everything seems easy. You may  be stumbling in the darkest depression and yet, only by thinking at them, your path seem a little bit clearer. They are the people you love. They are the ones who’re making you abandon your own wishes, in an unspeakably happy surrender to something bigger than you. They are sometimes your only reason to live.

Have you thought what makes you love them? What are the reason behind your love? I hope you didn’t find the answer. Because you don’t need one. You just love them. Loving somebody is outside reason, outside logic, beyond our analytical understanding of the world. Love is our greatest mystery and the people we love are its messengers. They tend to arrive at impossible moments in our lives and destroy all the solid foundations we thought we had. Only to build new, better and stronger ones.

Life is not easy. It can pull you in different directions and suck the last drop of energy out of you. And yet, in the most desert period of your existence, you’ll still have somebody to love. The moment you stopped loving other people, you stopped loving yourself. And without love, yes, life is empty, dull and mindless.

Creating Value

You do have a talent. Something that is unique to you. It doesn’t need to follow social rules or be converted into a career. It’s just something you’re great at. Every time you do that, every time you’re performing that special talent of yours, you’re creating value. It may be just that you make people laugh. Or comfort them by speaking. Or dancing. Or writing. Something that just flows through you and reach other people almost effortless. Creating value is what gives you a sense of usefulness and presence.

I love creating value. I love mastering different skills. I love the feelings I have when something I did proves useful for somebody else. Lately, this happens on this blog. People email me and tell me they felt motivated by my writing. Sometimes, they are even old friends who almost lost contact and incidentally found me while browsing the net. Every time I have one of those moments I feel fulfilled. A deep, strong and almost explosive emotion, leaving me thrilled and filled with adrenaline.

Making yourself useful to other people is drastically underrated in our modern society. A sense of blind ego and empty performance has replaced this natural flow: it doesn’t matter how you can make people happy with what you do, but rather what you get in return. No wonder you can’t enjoy life in such a limiting mindset.

Enjoying Value Created By Other People

When was the last time you felt inspired while listening to good music? Or watching an excellent movie? Or just enjoying new, simple yet elegant clothes? Or eating out deliciously at a nice restaurant, on a magical summer evening? On any of these occasions you were enjoying value created by other people. Somebody else created that music, imagined those clothes, made that movie, prepared that dinner. Somebody else used his or her unique talent and made you feel special.

I love to enjoy value created by other people. It gives me a sense of connection and validation. I feel like I am part of something bigger. Somewhere, somehow, there is a master plan and I am part of it. I mean something. Somebody took his time and skills and imagination and created something for me. I am enriched by that thing. I am better and I feel better while enjoying it. And I am also sending my respect to the creators. Refusing this flow of good stuff that comes to me is just against nature.

Living a life of abstinence in the name of fake modesty is so frustrating. Disconnecting from other people while waiting to transcend some twisted, invisible layers of “limiting” pressure is simply stupid. I do experience some abstinence every now and then, but only as an appetizer: makes the whole thing taste so much better.

Your Current Moment

Being in the current moment is a magic experience. And like any other magic it doesn’t require more of this world, but rather less. In order to really be in the current moment, you don’t need to learn something new, but get rid of what you already know. Leave back your worries, your frustrations, your memories and just stay here. Enjoy what you see. What you feel. What you hear or touch. You are designed for this specific experience, not for worrying and stacking frustration over frustration until you crack up.

Being in the current moment doesn’t have anything to do with positive or negative emotions. Anger or joy are two faces of the same coin. Being in the current moment while you’re angry has the same result as being in the current moment while you’re joyful. Rejecting what you feel because it’s “wrong” will simply kill the current moment and replace it with some mental notion about it. Instead of living your moment, you’ll live your theoretical notion about what you “should” feel., repressing the genuine feeling. And that’s so tasteless and dead.

The current moment is the only moment you have. As fragile as it is, it has this enormous power of making you alive. Don’t suffocate it with unnecessary garbage from the past, or with volatile worries about the future. Everything you have and need is right here. Right now.

The Unexpected

One of the most popular and delusive hoaxes of all time is that life could be predictable. Life is not predictable. Life is what’s happening while you’re busy making plans. The unexpected is the key ingredient here. Trying to eliminate the unexpected in your life, making your path as safe as you can, will be the only sure proof way to die of boredom. If no challenge will be there for you, if no surprising events will shake your universe, if nothing unforeseen will pop up suddenly, then what’s left for you to do?

I used to fight against the unexpected. Especially while I had my business. Seemed the most reasonable way to manage a business. Eliminate all the possible bad outcomes and wait for the good ones to manifest. Sadly, it didn’t worked out. Apparently, the only way to enjoy a steady and healthy growth for my business was to embrace the unexpected and take advantage of it in every way I can. Without the unpredictable changes in the market, I wouldn’t have any growth whatsoever.

While I don’t reject a solid preparation for starting your days, I don’t think this by itself will eliminate the unexpected in your life. Fortunately. Being prepared when the unpredictable happens is something completely different than rejecting it. So much better to be hit by a wave, and enjoy it, rather than pretend the sea is still.

Endings

What goes up, must come down. Every beginning has an end. And I find as much thrill and joy of life in a healthy ending as I find in a genuine beginning. Every ending is a confirmation that what’s started has reached its maturity. The purpose have been fulfilled. It’s not the ending in itself that causes suffering, it’s the attachment. Yes, pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional. Most of the time, though, I find out endings are not painful at all. They’re most like reaching the top of a mountain: you did it, now go down and start another one.

People try to make things last for unbelievably long periods of time. It’s an unconscious attempt to beat time. What a waste of resources. Time allows us to exist, how can you think to beat something that allows you to be. It’s a contradiction in terms. You can’t beat your own context, you’re in it. For instance, people are struggling to make their relationships last longer. Longer than what? Every thing has a purpose, if the purpose has been reached, it’s time for a new beginning. Enjoy the ending and let go.

If you don’t allow endings, you’re blocking other things form manifestation. Making something last more than its original intention will just hurt everybody. Enjoy the end and welcome a new beginning. Like this blog post. It’s over now. Time for you to start something new.

Twitter versus Facebook

In the last 5 years, the most important digital places I spend time in are Twitter and Facebook. Surprisingly enough, they seem to be the most popular social networking sites too. Recently, I had a short morning conversation on Twitter with one of my followers about what  question these sites are answering. What is the reason Twitter and Facebook exists, after all? The following post was born out of this interaction.

Twitter and Facebook Question

The Twitter question is undoubtly: “What are you doing?”. As simple and dumb as it seems it responds to a fundamental need of human beings:  curiosity. It may have killed the cat, but made the humans happy too in the process, that’s for sure. A part for answering this question, Twitter is not doing more. I’m reading this, I’m cooking dinner, I’m hanging out with friends, these are typical Twitter actions. Sometimes, a conversation can last for hours, sometimes it ends in a tweet.

The Facebook question poses a little bit of difficulty, but in the end I think this is: “What are you up to?”. In the beginning, Facebook was just a place to keep in touch with friends, sort of a digital address book. In the last 2-3 years, the increased interactivity, fueled by a wave of new apps built on top of their API made Facebook more of  an entertainment place in which you are invited to play. Games, interactions or causes, all are sharing a subtle entertaining vibe on Facebook.

API Usage

Twitter is giving an API for creating different clients for the same environment. You can access the same rules, via a different skin or device.

Facebook is giving an API for creating different meta-environments. You can create your own rules, and engage users in a different, sometimes totally unexpected type of interaction.

General Context

Twitter keeps the context fixed, while Facebook changes the context frequently. That means, Twitter has a limited set of features, which remained fixed for a long time. The learning curve is faster than on Facebook, because of this simplicity. On Twitter you can focus only on interaction, on Facebook you keep focusing on adapting to the environment.

On Twitter you reach out to people, on Facebook you reach out to challenges, apps and complex interactions. Reaching out to people is spontaneous, unexpected and builds up social skills. Reaching out to challenges and complex logical interactions builds up intellectual skills. While they are surely more engaged than usual Twitter users, typical Facebook users are not as social as you would think they are. The abundance of social tools (poking, commenting on walls, liking, etc) masks the genuine message.

Adapting to a difficult environment is clearly one the most important evolution processes. While Twitter maintains a rather loose environment with fewer rules, Facebook is constantly loading it with new restrictions. Coping with every new change and improvement in FaceBook frustrates users but at the same time is making them stronger. On Twitter, the only challenge must come from within, there is only the internal motivation: to manage an increasing number of connections in small, standardized chunks of actions. Facebook users may become stronger but their social motivation needs constant challenge. Twitter users are building up social skills in a more natural way.

A typical Facebook user is a little more stressed than a typical Twitter user. He knows he have to cope with a new challenge at any given moment: being it a new environment rule (like tagging users or changing the look of the feeds or of the site) or being it a new gift or other request he receives from a new app. It’s like being prepared to face a new threat every second. It surely makes them more powerful but I don’t know if it’s making them enjoy their presence more.

A typical Twitter user is most of the time concerned only with his incoming or outgoing interactions. He can chose the level of those interactions by limiting or expanding the number of users he follows. He has a greater control of the game than a Facebook user, who, regardless of the number of friends, is exposed to an increasing number of stimuli. A Twitter user usually enjoy his presence or at least is constantly refining his game in order to enjoy his presence more.

Social Media Vocabulary

By “vocabulary” in social media I understand the interaction units. In a language you have words as interaction units, in a social media site you have a set of actions by which you can play that specific role.

On Twitter you have a limited and pretty much standardized vocabulary: tweets, replies and direct messages. You can post links and that’s that.

On Facebook, you have a virtually unlimited vocabulary. You can express with hundreds (if not thousands) of apps, you can play Farmville or Mafia Wars, you can write on walls, poke, or become a fan.

Usually, languages with a simpler vocabulary tends to become more popular. English surpassed French during the 20th century as an international language, partly because it has a simpler vocabulary.

Twitter or Facebook?

I favor simplicity in face of complexity. In my opinion, if it keeps the actual strategy, Twitter has a bigger evolution potential because it has fewer rules to be followed. It’s a simpler, much robust digital organism. Facebook is like a wrestler on steroids: impressive, hugely complex but ready to crush at any given moment. Its complexity is becoming its heavier burden.

I think in the long term the stake will move from adapting to a complex environment (Facebook) to adapting to a complex stream of interactions (Twitter). We, humans, are already incredibly complicated machines, we don’t need to create another hugely complicated environment to adapt more. What we need is to interact more, to create around us a new social model. In this regard, Twitter allows a bigger freedom and the human interaction throughput is higher in Twitter.

FaceBook keeps the game closed. The rules are changing and they are seldom changing by popular request, on the contrary. Facebook may succeed in creating a challenging environment, like a huge amusement park, where you want to go every once in a while for some thrills, but you can’t live your real life in an amusement park. Real life is outside an amusement park, real life is made of simple human interaction, of spontaneity and unexpected. I like a roller-coaster every now and then, but I can’t work and become useful in a roller-coaster.

For me, Twitter is Auckland, Facebook is Las Vegas.

Do You Have Good Taste?

One of the things I love about traveling is that it puts me in the position to taste a lot of different foods. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not obsessed with food, I’m just enjoying life in all of its forms. And traveling while tasting a lot of new and exciting foods is one of the most  fulfilling ways of enjoying life. In my opinion, at least.

I admit I wasn’t like this before. Food was one of my lowest priorities. If it was edible, affordable and quick, it was on my plate. If I look back at my younger days and see how unconsiderate I was in regard to eating, I can’t believe I’ve done a 9 and a half raw food diet last year. And enjoyed it! It’s a huge leap forward.

Eating For Living

Back in my younger days eating was just a necessity. I needed it in order to survive. So was work. And socializing. And a lot of other things. I wasn’t really enjoying life when I was younger. I was making a living, but didn’t actually enjoying it. All I did was running with the crowd, going to a job, running back home and get drunk in between. Grey in, grey out.

One of the jobs I had (and hated, at the same time) was being a journalist. Part of the job was in fact attending to a lot of press conferences, events and other social gatherings. After the initial adaptation period, I started to see a pattern: the press conference in itself, the short work period and the buffet afterwords. Every press conference had a buffet.

In a very short time I started to save money based on the press conferences I attended to. I was eating there. The first 2 phases of the event were on autopilot: the press conference and the work period in which I was actually writing my news. The part which was really appealing to me was the buffet.

Looking back to that period I realize I was exposed to an incredible variety of foods. I think I had caviar every week. And a lot of other fantastic, exquisite and rare foods. But what I really don’t remember is my joy and satisfaction. I didn’t actually enjoyed it. I was eating because it was affordable (as in free), quick and easy to put on my plate.

It’s Always There

Now, every time I try a new food, I am literally puzzled. Every new taste is making me thrill with joy, every new gastronomical encounter is actually a travel in itself. I can easily tell the difference between a good meal and chef meal. There is this subtle difference between something good and something really extraordinary. My taste buds are educated now.

And that’s the only difference. I had caviar before and didn’t enjoy it. When I have caviar now it’s like going all the way up to Japan and back. Every time I try a new fruit I feel like I’m walking on a remote beach in New Zealand. Every exotic food really transports me somewhere in Thailand. I traveled the world and I saw things. My receptors are alive now. I developed my ability to enjoy.

The fact is that good meals are always there. The extraordinary is surrounding you every second. You don’t see it only because your tastes aren’t educated enough. Your capacity of joy is limited. Your ability to be happy and grateful is not worked out. It’s like a fluffy muscle trying to lift an enormous weight. It won’t. And of course, you will blame the weight, not your fluffy muscle. The meal doesn’t taste good. Even if it’s caviar.

What Good Taste Is

Good taste has nothing to do with food. Good taste has nothing to do with talent. Good taste has nothing to do with education.

Good taste is your ability to enjoy life.

Have you noticed that in every area where you show good taste you’re actually enjoying life? You have a good taste in art, therefore you’re happy when consuming art. You have good taste in women, so you’re happy when spending quality time with gorgeous women. You’re enjoying the things you appreciate the most.

Even more, if you show good taste you will also attract appreciation from other people. You will become an authority on that topic and others will want to know your opinion. You’re the one with the good taste, right?

Whenever you think you have a boring life, think twice. Maybe is not life, but your ability to enjoy it? Maybe your taste in life has suffered a serious atrophy? Maybe you’re surrounded with beauty, wonder and magic, but you don’t see it? Maybe you’re eating caviar as we speak, but you don’t really care?

Now really: do you think you have good taste in life?

Try Something New

The other day I was a little thirsty. Had some work to do so I delayed my short trip to the kitchen as much as I could. After one or two hours, the thirst become really important to me, so I left my home office and went to the kitchen. To my surprise, there was only a small bottle of water left in the house. This is happening extremely rare as I am quite a freak when it comes to water, food and supplies. Well, I took a glass of water, pour the whole bottle in it, then put in on my table and start looking at it.

“If I don’t drink the water, I’ll have this glass full for a long time“, I thought. ”It’s the only water I have in the house, so it’s really precious, must take good care of it“. But after a few seconds I realized I’m still thirsty. More and more thirsty.

”If I drink the water, I won’t be thirsty anymore. But I won’t have any water left in the house. I know in several hours I’ll be thirsty again, and then I won’t have this glass full of water. It will be empty. That means I should really go out and start looking for some fresh water. And I really don’t wanna do this right now.“

Learning To Let Go

I’m sure you laughed while reading the monologue above. You have all the reasons, it’s a weird monologue. A guy talking with his glass full of water is always funny, I know. But as thirsty as I was, I realized this monologue was something very common to me. It’s a monologue I play every time I’m afraid to try something new. Every time I’m on a safe environment and I’m enjoying it and try to squeeze everything out of it. I was really enjoying working on my office and the idea of getting out for some fresh water was really unpleasant.

And I realized I have to do it. As unpleasant as it seemed, it was something necessary for me. And I also realized that every environment is perishable. Each situation is finite. Trying to extend a pleasurable situation beyond its natural boundaries it’s not only useless, but most of the time quite impossible. You must accept this sooner or later. You have to drink the water and accept that you’ll have to find fresh water soon. You can’t rely on a single glass of water to quench your thirst for your entire life.

Keeping your game into a single playground will soon dry it out. If you don’t do something to constantly refresh your resources, you’ll empty your field by using it. If you don’t get out in the wild to get some water you’ll run out of it. (more…)

Understanding Emotions

Taking the plunge on such a complicated topic as emotions is something that I wanted to do long time ago. In fact, this post is staying as a draft in my MacJournal for more than 2 months now. I always wanted to start writing about it, but also felt a little uncomfortable with it. It was like something was not still clear. I had the overall idea but there was some inconsistency in my approach.

Today I’ll go for it because I simply feel like doing it. Noticed the reason? “I simply feel like doing it”. The trigger for starting to write this was an emotion. A feeling.

Being A Prisoner Of Your Own Emotions

I always was quite an emotional person. I am a Scorpio sign, which is a Water sign, and Water signs are well known to be extremely emotional. My rising sign is Capricorn, an Earth sign. Among all the Earth signs, Capricorn is known to be the most sensitive. Quite an emotional super mix here, right?

When I was younger I was always emotions driven. My emotions were so intense that I often mistaken them for thoughts. I often acted out of impulse instead of reason. I was so immersed in my own emotional field that I was convinced that I’m thinking when I was in fact only reacting to some stimulus, same way as the Pavlov’s dog.

Needless to say that when you act only and only by emotions you get hurt . Sometimes you get hurt big time. But your acting pattern is already set and even if you promise to yourself not to repeat the same mistake again, you’ll do it. You say you won’t do that thing that caused you pain, but you go straight to it. And get hurt again.

I’m sure many of you experienced the same pattern. You get emotional on some situation, act, do something wrong because you acted only as a result of that emotion, and then get hurt. And then do the exact situation again. You get hit by the same emotion, do the exact same thing and get hurt again.

Sooner or later you start to feel embarrassed by your own emotional system. You start to actually feel bad on a whole different level, by being able to predict how you will act on a certain circumstance. I won’t see this movie because it will make me cry. I won’t meet those people because I’m shy and I’ll do something stupid. I won’t talk to my parents because I always felt like they wanted to control me.

You don’t do a rational assessment of the situation, you just remember you acted in a hurting way, and start to avoid the whole situation, regardless of the potential. Each and every circumstance has a potential. Most of the time is about a learning potential. But if your actions are emotions driven, you won’t see that potential.

Acting only by emotion is the easiest way toward manipulation. The more emotional you get, and the less assessment you put into your life, the easier for you to be manipulated. You will attract people or situations in which you will be the puppet, and they will be the puppeteer. You won’t even realize that, of course, you will just notice how your life becomes more and more miserable. (more…)